#alt.suicide.bus.stop Gems

<ibup200> You know, if we weren't so depressed, and you lived a thousand miles closer, and were straight, and didn't flog your lovers... I'd go out with you in a second.
<SR-71A> and I was beating him and saying this to the rhythm of my fists...... "if you weren't in my *fuckin' car* I wouldn't *fuckin'" be bustin' your *fuckin* ass
<stbdchick> we are discussing which of has has tasted our own bodily secretions
<Equin0x> you know what it would be if the parrots squawked out of tune? multiple parrots' tonality disorder.
<ibup200> here's some methods: http://www.not.sleepy.connectfree.co.uk/ fuck off and die
<ibup200> And *you*, nasty person, keep making me feel better. How the hell am I supposed to kill myself if you're telling me what a kewl d00d I am?
<lassi> the feeling of my head being comprised of two tectonic plates, infinitely grinding against one-another, ready to implode and explode simultaneously, is second-nature.
<stbdchick> I understood the 2 cats chasing the moth, but got confused when my daughter joined in.
<Scooter> I never really realized I was smart until I saw how stupid everyone else seemed to be.
<stbdchick> I have reassured people that it was ok to be queer, or bi, or sadistic, or submissive, or whatever... I have never before reassured someone that it was ok to be straight.
<lassi> I would like to take this opportunity to officially announce that life sucks. Thank-you.
<Shadok> I would say you are mentally ill if you are NOT depressed with the world being the way it is today
<lassi> I think spirituality can be, at best, some kind of embrace, or perhaps unison, with oneself and the universe. But religion seems like nothing more than moral duct-tape.
<Chagrin> I've found it hard to concieve of a unison with the universe when i consider myself such a peon in a cosmic sense.
<Holmz764> What is the sound of one mind snapping?
<Scooter_> I would suggest we go to war with #suicide, but I'm afraid too many on our sides would point their guns the wrong way....
<AtomAnt76> Where can I get one of these 'vaginas'?
<Shadok> My mom had an IUD, didnt stop my brother tho.
<Jared> my mother lives for shoving tubes up her ass, I could ask her for something spiffy
<jerrybob> my life really sucked until things got bad
<Steward> Only the intelligent people can figure out how fucked up the world is... and only the sensitive among them can be discouraged by it.
<stbdchick> The problem with researching methods via medical information is that medical information is intended to let you know what is the least amount of a drug or chemical that can cause harm. This is a far cry from our needs, which is to discover the amount that will definitely cause death.
<lassi> No-one else can know you as much as you know yourself, it should be your choice alone... That's what is sad because it seems the only reason some are feeling so depressed is because of how other people judge and treat them.
<lassi> A fine blend of shame, guilt, tragedy, and hatred neatly packaged into a tight bundle spent right up one's spinal column.
<nnick> Wanting to die is the only ethical thing in this world.
<Shadok> I like to be able to loathe myself at times, that enables me to change my paradigms, etc
<lassi> thne she tolkds me it w as killegal to drink there oustikde her "bnar" and then i fucking......... sat down anywayh abnd she told me she called the cops, i thougheted she wa s jokking etc.
<ibup200> But if you want to send a clearly worded "fuck you" to someone, nothing does it like a wallful of brains
<ibup200> Every once in a while I drop a stone down the well of his ignorance. I have yet to hear one hit bottom.
<bittertwist> i wonder.. when god put us together, did he like so many of use who buy flat pack furniture, find that there was a screw left over?
<Equin0x> nova: you can belong on showing a birth certificate, 3 or more scars, and a used prescription for antidepressants. what is this, a phuqqen social club?
<DmKpf> Productive member my arse. Life is futile, and there is nobody who can substantiate an argument which implies otherwise.
<Equin0x> kids fit in the fridge more easily than other people.
<bird_in_cellophane> though i may be bludgend to death by a dildo - im only a small birdy
<CharlieMouse> thanks, it is always useful to be suicidally witty and a depressingly good speller.
<suicide_is_painless> back and with my many friends..trasadone..aderal..paxel
<Scooter_> Underwear just gets naturally stinky after you wear it for four days.
<jerrybob> you can die in here but if you smell dead you'll be asked to leave!
<krptc> there must be some kinda way outta here <Scooter_> Just hit the little x in the corner
<SR-71A> fuckers ain't gonna fuck up this channel *for* fucked up people...... dammit!
<drowninginfire> There's a shiny happy girl at my school who always asks people "what color was your day". One day I replied "the color of the coagulated mixture of blood and brains blown onto a wall after an accidental firearms discharge". The expression on her face was priceless.
<Self_Mutilated_Girl> just checking if my pic was out (which it was not). now if you'll excuse me, i have a bus to catch
<drowninginfire> lol, we out-trolled the troll!
<SR-71A> !seen sanity <MarvinAndroid> - Haven't seen sanity
<blahhalb> I'd rather drown in a pool of my own vomit than use XP Pro. But sometimes drowning in a pool of my own vomit seems like a decent idea. Nevermind that analogy.
<Becky854> she thought the bras felt tight || * asdf__ will stay out of the conversation since i know jack of the topic in hand... || <wnl> see and all i saw was jack of hand
<zsazsa> I don't have PITY for you, I have um...um...I feel 'sorry' for you!
<tld> If God created the universe, I think the devil created Love.
<dys4iK> hey. fish porn? I want me some of that./<dys4iK> I mean, ew, fish porn.
<tld> how's life? || <Julian_Augustus> I have no idea -I don't have one
<_Laura_> girls have cooties??/<Giga> Girls also have vaginas...so screw the cooties thing. :P
<xhg> if i told you ... i would have to let you live
<xhg> the economy sucks, bush sucks, the war sucks, all countries suck, the world sucks, lets all die
<asdf__> I'd rather live in norway than kill myself
<asdf__> man i always get that flood gem from marvin =\
<xhg> we're not allowed to have dogs in our condo. But judging from some of the women present at the condo meeting, I'm not sure that bylaw is obeyed.
<stbdchick> new for the methods file: inserting dildo through brain method
<jerrybob> beauty is only skin deep but ugly goes clear to the bone
<Pym_> i have a fairly major problem with God - like, the fact he doesn't exist.
<Chagrin> you really haven't lived until you've opened a beer bottle with a butter knife though
<The_Sought> I respect you, Pym_. Just on a negative level.
<life-o> i'd go to iraq as a human shield!
<Becky854> contrary to popular belief, this actually is not a sex channel
<Trance-Addict> I would hate to have my nick attached to one of those nonsense gems.
<satans_pinK_freeq> I am just screwing around.. I don't promote the spread of std's through teens whatsover.. but give me some plastic saran wrap and I will consider it..
<xhg> what do you tell a girl who is being suffocated by their parents and they won't let her become an independant woman? | <Callissto> jump
<God_> -NickServ- Password accepted for God_.
<pinkertin> everytime I need to get high, Ill just talk to myself. like walking down the street I could suddenly start talking and if someone asks me what I'm doing, I'll say "I'm just expanding my mind! please dont call the ambulance, join me!"
<MarvinAndroid> when I grow up I want to be a real boy.
<xhg> i should call into work dead
<pymriah> !seen jane balthus || <MarvinAndroid> Haven't seen jane on balthus
<u4iK> Suicide with childrens scissors...Safe Suicide
<jerrybob> Hey did you hear? That fucker Jesus got away again! Every fucking easter. I hate that!
<milla_> shite! can't you just try to be really dull for a few minutes and maybe i'll be able to disconnect!
<jerrybob> ashers to ashers, nuts to nuts
<jerrybob> I want cremation with whatever ashes are left either tossed out with the rest of the rubbish, or flushed down with the rest of the shit.
<Callistia> I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name
<BobMie> if I remembered half of what I've forgotten I'd be twice as smart as I am now.
<xhg> if god wanted me to work he would not have invented mirc
* Coma[black] sets mode: +boring *!*alt.suicide.bus.stop
<xhg> i have sex alot ... just never with another person
<Ub3r> I can't help but feel fate is against me. it's like that time I rented the Dead Poets society eons and eons after it had been released, I managed to go years without ever having the end spoiled and decided it was about time to finally watch it and half an hour before popping it into the vcr some character on "Friends" says "It's like that boy in the dead Poets Society who kills himself at the end" ...
<Neo-Tokyo> wouldnt you say suicide is a permenant solution to a temporary problem? | <`[6]> I'm a Buddhist, I'd say suicide is a temporary solution to a permanent problem.
<fadingboy> damn those non-english-speaking-people and their inconvienient interest in porn!
<tld> oh, so you're here to kill rather than be killed? I suppose that works...||<tld> Someone should make a suicide classifids section|| <tld> people who wants to die meeting people who wants to kill.||<tld> could have been a great hit.
<Twilight1> If Lleyton hewitt was an asher, would he yell out "C'MON ON!!!" just before he was about to jump off the building?
<Trance-Addict> well i will only have sex if i am love with my partner and if i was in love i would probably not be suicidal, especially since i would be having sex
<prink> Im all about sex and reeses peanut butter cups, with a pinch of cyanide.
<Daishi> i am sorta bicurious though so i actually do think Lance (Bass) is hot sometimes
<Equin0x> the next war will be fought over a broadband connection <Equin0x> <UK> come out of your ambush points and fight you cads! <Equin0x> <US> DIE FAGET U SUX([hC]) <jiy> this robot is quite convenient some times!
<Giga> I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
<u4iK> I somethings think I'd prefer myself dead. And then other times I do as well. And sometimes, I think I'd prefer myself dead. And rarely I don't not think I'd prefer myself dead.
<jerrybob> if you are referring to biblical prophecy, may I remind you that the bible is a collection of poorly written crap penned by violent, ignorant, and superstitious people?
<holmz764> kids are sexually transmitted diseases
<uberboy> You should see where I get my yeast from.
<uberboy> you really want to die but on the good days you programmed yourself to know that on the bad days when you really want to die you don't really want to die and that you are thinking irrationally. But i want to die.
<hostile-baby-wacko> how come i enevr bump in gems that say die die die die die?
<loqcuir> The only good thing about the weather as of late here in Perth, was the sky. Today. A brilliant, multileveled display of beautiful clouds on a sunset. Almost enough to make me puke.
<jerrybob> I once got up bleary eyed and brushed my teeth with Perparation H. That wasn't nearly as bad as when the Pepsodent hit the hemorhoids a few minutes later...
<holmz764> rant rant bitch complain moan graon gripe rant rant rave rant bitch complain whine
<Jampe> Yeah, time just disappears. - So, timemachine has been invented but it has only one limitation - it goes only forward.
<Pym_> good morning americans, good afternoon europeans, good evening australians, and goodbye cruel world. if only
<natty|away> oh man. why cant people just have low self esteem anymore
<latyrx> a christian friend called me tonight, but im ok now
<dys4iK> I can feel my pulse in my ass.
<jerrybob> darkstar, I don't troll for their sake. It's for my soul. I want to go straight to hell and I don't want to wait in line and I want a seat by the fire
<vera> i rely on my own personality for birth control.
<jerrbob> Is motherfucker one word or two? writing a letter to god...
<Shadok> well if thinking of me is an effective laxative for people that have trouble shitting then i'm all for it. think of me when you need to shit, just the thought of me will loosen your bowels and bring you freedom from your suffering
<Reene> You know it's a bad day when you call a suicide help line and you get put on hold.
<uberboy> fisting meets obstetrics. only on #asbs
<stbdchick> ...the vagina is only so deep, can reach the cervix with a finger, is not like stuff can get lost in there.
<jerrybob> I am not an oldster. I am an old fucker
<unic> surviving is overrated.
<The Sought> A guy doesn't kick another guy in the balls. That's what women were invented for.
<stbdchick> how can you be engaged without ever having rubbed mucous membranes together in a pointless manner?
<hostile-baby-wacko> the personna test said im fucked up
<Scooter_> You know, having Marvin sit around here all day doing nothing but replying to people's stupid questions sure wastes a lot of electricity.
<unic> vera? real? is that possible?
<lynx> in the rest of the world, hockey's a different sport from boxing
<johnd39> ash bdsm rules: !safe !sane cuz we ain't sane and nothing's safe for us.
<stbdchick> he LIKES tickling, how sadistic can someone be? I mean, what's wrong with old-fashioned whips and chains anyways?
<ibup200> Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die
<The_Sought> It's....an odd conversation...odder than most conversations...people sucking mangos, dreaming of getting shot in the face...cats...dogs...spider-man rules!
<Shadok> maybe thats all thats left to do after you discover all the laws of the universe, invent everything, construct an intergalactic civilization......... the only thing thats left to do is stick probes up sentient peoples' asses and watch it on TV, they probably have game shows about it, maybe the audience gets to pick who gets abducted, Anal Probe Jeopardy would never get old
<S[adeAce> You seem to have accident prone genitals... burns and bee stings...
<shortlyloved> ya know, i went out to a gay leather bar with my friend autumn last night, and i felt like shirley temple in a World War 2 movie...."where's daddy" ?
<sick_a_more> I figger if Hell exists (which is a BIG if), it'll be filled with the a bunch of like-minded people, and the odds of actual punishment rather than a party going on 24/7 is pretty bad.
<kaotik> i wouldnt mind a few fingers up my ass to brighten an otherwise dull day
<kaotik> i wanked 3 times in an hour this morning
<Scooter_> Would you really wanna be convered in 30 minutes of orgasm?
<Scooter_> Hey, don't make me add info about my wanking. | <Scooter_> I mean, if Acuse thought three times in an hour was impressive... have I got a surprise for you
<hostile-baby-wacko> leatn to talk b4 talkin ew brown vomir with dirty liquid shit a
<jenwolf> My life sucks, but that's ok, it can now, because I won't be here to witness it
<sick_a_more> When women mud-wrestle, everyone wins.
<jerrybob> I wonder if anyone has ever died in church...I mean of natural causes of course. It would be silly to count the ones the church kills
<MarvinAndroid> - {cocksucker}, {shit}, {mother fucker}, {motherfucker}, {mother},
<Scooter> I don't mind war so much, long as it doesn't get me killed.
<Lillie> THE CRICKETS ARE ATTACKING ME!
<stbdchick> running is abd for you, causes difficulty smoking
< Jerrybob> I think there should be a Jeezus action figure for kids with rippling muscles, steely eyes, and a pencil dick
<sick_a_more> 'Cuz when you taste your first beer at 28, and realize that it WON'T make you go blind, impotent, sterile, etc... You realize that being bad is actulaly kinda fun.
<MsAnnThrope> im the robert downey jr of the antique clothing world
<disconnected[ash]> I try to be scary when I go out, but it doesn't really work. All in black, goth look, and little odl ladies still pick ME to ask directions :p
<hrafn> i never hoped life would be wonderful, but i thought at least i might hate myself a little less
<stbdchick> apparently, we're more sick and twisted than #depressed * stbdchick is proud.
<hfran> Cunnilingus, the Mennonites, and You
<jerrybob> emergency medicine is the place to be...you could fuck the dead chicks that come in while they are still warm
<FrancieBrady> i think when i get to be old, i'm gonna have a little place out in the country, and i'm gonna sit out on my porch swing and smoke pot all day, every day... people would just attribute my odd behavior to senility
<jerrybob> I don't care about sex. I just like sleeping in the wet spot
<FrancieBrady> glottalising? is that like fellatio?
<kaotik> i find your blithering use of modal expressions and the poor clarity as to whether you are indicating a necessary or contingent truths (or falsehoods) profoundly tiresome, furthermore, youre inciteful yet somewhat benign drivel have motivated me to study diligently for my upcoming exams... lest i too seccumb to being a bloated idealistic irc opinion
<Azif> I want a computer that i can plug into the back of my neck. That way I can have both hands free when I'm looking at internet porn
<Coma[black]> its time to have sex now..were going to have sex...welcome to sexville, population you and me
<sidhe> so NAH to YOU and your dominant patriach heteronormative paradigm
<Azif> Somehow, getting lucky with google isn't as satisfying as it sounds...
<whatever111> i can picture in my mind one suicidal giving the other suicidal a present: "oh, razor blades, how thoughtfull!" "enjoy yourself"
<hrafn> i don't want to be genitalia
<Giga> It's amazing. Any conversation that I slightly hint to start eventually turns into something sexual. To this day I still wonder how conversations of soup, floss, and self-mutilation could have evolved into sex chats...
<JaneBalthus> Foodstuff in my muff is a no go | <JaneBalthus> Can we gem that? I deserve one gem!
[about the guy caught hiding bodies in Georgia in Feb 2002] <jerrybob> reminds me of mailmen who just stash the mail at home for years until they get caught
<Scooter_> Why would a Chinese place be cooking cats? <jerrybob> ran out of dog?
<crimson_tears> so where did you meet micheal at anyway? <hgv> #littlekidsex
<hrafn> i'd like to be a cyborg version of mr. t <hrafn> no one would fuck with me
* zsazsa[phone] has quit (Quit: After all, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday...)
<MrMattis> my life is meaningless enough | <MrMattis> why add sex to the list
If at first you don't succeed, failing may be your style
<synergistic-do> can't be buried in a Jewish cemetary with a tattoo <Equin0x> against traditional xianity also <^March^> even a tattoo of padre pio?
I think he meant to say that happiness can't be purchased LEGALLY.../<`[6]> It's considered a controlled substance under US federal law.
<Trance-Addict> hrmmm the conversation has just shifted from boobs to my ass /* Trance-Addict puts on his iron underwear
<Tired_> Being in love is the easy part. It's the being loved in return part that's hard.
<satans_pinK_freeq> besides.. pills can replace anything in life... they can replace relationships.. replace freinds.. family.. money..sex.. anything even food...they can even replace happiness...
<ariane> Just cause I'm funny and dead popular and nice, doesn't mean I'm not a raving homosexual.
<PauperIll> winter in Finland only lasts until 2am? cool! <sick_a_more> 1:58am COLD, 1:59am COLD, 2:00 Ahhhhh... warm...
<My_Name_Is_Nova> Im not gonna say 'Mom, can I tell #alt.suicide.bus.stop that im not dead'
<NotOneofTheGANG> Argumentative <NotOneofTheGANG> Antagonistic <sophie_g> me? or are you just going through the dictionary?
<Trance-Addict> we could build a suicide roller coaster, when its close to stopping the carts can pass by a neck level blade and simoultaneously cut all the passengers head's off, and then all the ashers can get together and ride it
You know what really hurts? When you open one of those twist top beers with your eye, and its not a twist top, it needs a bottle opener and you just end up in lots of drunken pain for trying to be cool :/ --kaotik
<Azif> i'm gonna go watch tv now. tv is good. well, no it isn't. but it's better than not tv.
<thevoid> woah...I think Im in the wrong chat....sex ed for dummies?
<bzImage> wonder if I could orgasm before I hit the ground
<MsAnnThrope> yknow, when i feel like im a pumpkin being carved out for halloween spiking doesnt seem a bad idea
<edgeolite> whos it going toinght? <chink> me <edgeolite> or how is, who is. my bad
<fadingboy> Though suicidal hot sauce may be an acceptable and standard product on grocery-store shelves, we do not similarly have among our consumer options heart-attack ice cream, or cancer smoked meat. We'd probably find that tasteless, yet we don't hesitate to trivialize suicide. Although no longer an entirely taboo subject, we fear it enough to reflexively want to make it and the despair that drives people to it so
<satans_pink_freeq> "love me not for I have sinned, let me die before I wake for my soul satan should take" >=)
<Equin0x> chanserv is like god. exercises its almighty powers all the time, then suddenly vanishes and does nothing for about 2000 years.
<drowninginfire> scientology doesn't kill people, scientologists kill people
*greatest troll*"<C-59> LOOK OUT! CHEESE!<C-59>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!<satans_pinK_freeq>cheese is attacking you?<satans_pinK_freeq> is it that damn american cheese? it loves to attack people... <C-59> GET IT OFF!!<C-59> AIEEEEEE!!!"
<PauperIll> they must get together in the server room and test each others hardware
<synergistic-do> headache problems? try shooting it out
<Lyrad> looking good is timeless. looking cool has a expiration date
<evil_sidhe> i don't want anything that has been in someone elses holes
<greeneyes> was so easy in the end lol | <Blue_Skies> isnt it always..
<StupidSpoons-> i wonder if they do a special on bum hair waxing? lol
<slumbering> i've read the only way you could get ambien to kill you is buy a ton of it and then drop it on your head
<My_Name_Is_Nova> ok then, if you have sex with your clone, does that make you gay? or are you masturbating?
<Tired8281> I cut my wrists once, years ago, but I was on a lot of LSD, and I was convinced there was a vampire with broken fangs there, and I had to help her.
<Equin0x> you can't be died.
"I've discovered lately that happiness is hard to come by if you're broke." - PauperIll
* tld wants a cheap way for people to give him money ;)
(said by some claimed jeveler who looked in #asbs to buy cyanide when asked why he asked for it in the channel: ) <Jeweler12> sucidals have large stashes of cyanide packed away
<Dagon> The sucky thing about trying to kill yourself is that if it fails, when you wake up suddenly you don't have any of your drugs anymore.
<tld> die die die die die
<DiamonDie> i really should get a kilo of cyanide, in case i need to commit suicide on regular basis.
<gorieki> wnl: what does your hair look like currently?
<wnl> vera some one has to be the sex goddess - i am sorry you have to be burdened with it
<drowninginfire> we ought to play asher-roulette. 6 ashers, 5 hits of coke, 1 of anthrax
<jerrybob> everything's my fault. you know how salt water stings your eyes? my fault.
<pointless_person> the phagosome enters the cytoplasm and merges with the lysosome to form a phagolysosome.
<Coma[black][cut]> everyone has socks..and most of them taste good if marinated properly
<Giga> !gem, YOU MOTHERFUCKING BOT!!!!!
<BlinkingBear> in my mind, despair and hope are the same thing. Hope is seeing thing as they are, and imagining them as they could be. Despair is imagining things as they could be, and then seeing them as they are.
<Scooter_> Depression makes for good writers, but poor inventors
<blahhalb> #asbs pickup line: so what meds are you on?
<BlinkingBear> imagine... "im gonna do it, i swear!" "put down the supersoaker and listen to reason, man! you have everything to live for!"
<ada_chan> but that is why games is better than life, as it is full of cheats and walkthrough which help you to get through...
<pym> Jesus is a paedophile..."come to me o children" indeed
<PauperIll> life is a project - and me without my Gantt charts...
<joekerr12> i think women will have penises in 100 years
<satanz> that was not an award winning pee you have to work harder than that if you want the gold medal
<literarygirlediting> hey sensuous, i'll pee in your cup, but you gotta call me tomorrow and tell me if i'm pregnant or not...
<Marty-_> beer my method to death!!
<The_Sought> I had a cadaver once. Ran away and got run over though. Poor thing.
<KarateSnoopy> hey I tried to kill myself, now op me
<BlinkingBear> she's a really good writer, but a complete mormon <BlinkingBear> err moron <flawd> lol! <BlinkingBear> actually, she's a mormon, too!
<Cooper> Unloading your problems on total strangers is what makes IRC great
<evilporn_sidhe> i used to have a crush on a dead poet
<Becky854> tiffany, don't bother. it's scooter. it's not like talking to a sane person
<drowninginfire> *shudder* hormones.. the scapegoat for everything I think... "aww, isn't that teenage rebellion cute, it's only caused by chemical though. You'll soon grow up into a stupid yuppie like everyone else"
<blahalb> taking it up the ass doesn't hurt that much.....
<Scooter> I dunno, zit juice is none too pleasant
<Coma[black]> but..i gotta run now..its time to masturbate and harm myself...ill try and be on later...peace..
<SpadeAce> I might be paranoid, but it doesn't mean the they aren't watching me <g>
<kaotik> At least paranoia you actually believe something, if you dont know youre stuck endlessly wondering...
<Azif> Aren't all octopi preteens?
<SR-71A> I just celebrated the 7th anniversary of my 29th birthday
<hostile-baby-wacko> i thought u were a retard but no one beated lynx in looking like a reatard freak. he looks like an over sized mosquitto
<jebus> im the real son of god~~~*** jebus is now known as Guest65386
<ibup200> (to equin0x) There are really three classes of words that marvin looks up. Yours: illuminati, equinoctial, etc. Shadok's: marxist, anarchism. Everyone else: shit, fuck, dick, cunt.
<Darkstar72> (upon being told he looked like a salesperson.) Would you like to buy into our life insurance plan?
*** circumcised_with_a_potato_peel is now known as BlinkingBear~~~<SR-71A> you could just go with BlinkingCircumcision ;-)
*** Electrica gnaws on her box
*** latyrx is in love with vera~~~<latyrx> i even wrote her name on my blowup doll
<Scooter_> (To Nova_Scotian_Boy) But, if it's any consolation, we still esteem you as highly as we did before
Our Suicide Help Line: "No, no, no... take the safety off, THEN pull the trigger."
<MarvinAndroid> Can't look up penis -- busy with vagina
<grodyevil_sidhe> a 13yr old boy with a 21cm dick is a physiological impossibility, but every damn paedophiles dream <Giga> Shit, then my dick is 2 inches long...just for safety's sake.
<aaachooo> Avoid people, situations, pictures or reading materials that might create sexual excitement.~~~<ibup200> Like this channel perhaps?
<Shadok> If you associate something very distasteful with your loss of self-control it will help you to stop the act. For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think of having to bathe in a tub of worms, and eat several of them as you do the act.~~~<stbdchick> That must be where all those worm fetishists come from
<sasmi> im horny and my gf's 150 miles away damnit~~~<vera> get a blow up doll and shush
<kaotik> i heard the gov buries official documents up the ass of suicide victims as well~~~<Jerrybob> well then there's something to look forward to after all
<the_lynx> it's kinky if you use a feather~~~<wolf> it gets perverted when you use the whole chicken~~~<ibup200> stbdchick uses the whole farm
<sophie_g> it's a big step in becoming a mature ircer~~~<the-lynx> then i don't want to get to be such a thing.
<hostile-baby-wacko> dont ban me for idlin~~~<stbdchick> you, HBW, usually get banned for talking, not for idling ;)
<Jeff_Spicolli> suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem~~~<icecreamblender> life is a temporary problem to a permanent solution
<Kdo> i'm french !!~~~<Scooter_> Is that why you wanna kill yourself, Kdo? :)
<guest6881> how's it hanging?~~~<Marty_> 2 inches off the floor is plenty
<sophie_g> hi sophie, scooter, tbone~~~<Scooter_> Did you just say hi to yourself?~~~<sophie_g> doh!
<Emmy> When I was in Helsinki, I couldn't stay at the house of a friend, because they had - well, crawly things, too~~~<Azif> babies?
<BlinkingBear> 'manipulating' is a catholic term for masturbation~~~<flawd_> !dict manipulation~~~<MarvinAndroid> - 2: the action of touching with the hands or the skillful use of
<psg> or if youre lucky you could use a proxy...~~~<Chagrin> yeah, you could try using wingates, but i don't think they will work any more~~~<^iver^> how do you kill yourself with a proxy?
<Equin0x> is that channel for christians to debate in, or for anyone to debate about christianity?~~~<Shadok> its for christians to ban ppl that try to debate with them
<Equin0x> do you two have any concrete plans to meet?~~~<jerrybob> I have plans to meet concrete
<evilporn_sidhe> i am going out with my bro~~~<My_Name_Is_Nova> thats gross
<synergistic-do> why's everyone so quiet tonight?~~~<jenwolf> we're suiciding~~~<jenwolf> or fucking~~~<synergistic-do> both can be quite nosey
<dose> i have sex with homeless guys. doesn't make me gay. now if they HAD homes... i MIGHT be gay.
<bradleybond> I have seen enough porn to know a loose ass from a tore the fuck up ass
<kaotik> -Al-Qalam- This will be your only warning. Cussing like fucks is not permitted~~~<kaotik> i find the wording of that warning hilarious~~~<kaotik> apparently i was cussing like a fuck~~~<Equin0x> lol~~~<Equin0x> i *think* it means cussing, as in "fuck", is not permitted
<Jampe> duct tape is like the Force - it has the light side and dark side and it holds the universe together
<holmz764> everyone self medicates, just not everyone does it with drugs
<satanz_fucked> (referring to gems) well i am still waiting to nail me one and I have been coming here quite a while
<kaotik> you could cut off your arm and hit people with it for some kicks too i spose
<synergistic-do> Nova , tell us something interesting!~~~<My_Name_Is_Nova> Im masturbating ...~~~<u4iK> why are so few talking?~~~<My_Name_Is_Nova> there all masturbating
<Nefertitii> beautiful people have a better life but they all eventually die in the end anyways.
<DiamonDie> on easter we eat m�mmi, which is a porridge-like black "pudding" with rye, malt and seasonings. it looks like poo but is good with sugar and cream.
<synergistic-do> guests tell us some foods from your country and we will guess where you are. ~~~<synergistic-do> if you don't play, we will all kill ourselves.
<jerrybob>I never turned anything down but a sheep and I turned it face down
<unresistance> i've received some important news about HOT LESBIANS WHO LOVE TO SUCK COCK
<DiamonDie> i always typo god as dog. what's the difference anyway.
<tngkicksbum> i'm wondering if any little boys would actually go into #0!!!!!!!littleboysexchat, or if the channel is just full of like-minded perverts~~~<super_ape> same goes for dog sex :p
<Drakata> Oh yes there is something wrong with ridiculing dictators, it only indicates your depraved and meaningless life
<Darkstar72> someone's gonna get my valuable porno pics though!!!~~~<jerrybob> the ones with you and the mule?
<Scooter_> I HAVE A PENIS IT HAS VEINS
<lazyada> !marvin destroy all imperfection~~~<MarvinAndroid> - I won't enjoy it.
<satans_pink_freeq> I am a dick head you are a asshole heh we should go together like ketchup and frys
<satans_pink_freeq> you have heard stories of my legendary penile capacity for plesure, eat the apple for more knoledge of my mad penile skillz
<jerrybob> I'd like to wake up tomorrow with coping skills and charisma and good looks and money, but most likely I'll still be me
<Swank> though the inner recesses of my mind scream "Pizza" and if I did die eating a pizza, hell, it's a lot better than getting my ass kicked by a pretzel.
<pym_> but we don't just hang... we shoot ourselves, gas ourselves... or do the plain ol' jump from a high place
<satans_pink_freeq> heh so how are you tonight satans_pink_freeq
<AtTheEnd> my typing is hjopless
<Jampe> "Hi, I'm just dropping by to say hi to you on my way to behind that corner to hang myself"
Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
<satans_pink_freeq> Life is like a penis, When it gets hard FUCK IT!!!
<ibup200> how do I know it's the *real* jerrybob?~~~* jerrybob humps ibup's leg~~~*** ibup200 sets mode: +o jerrybob
<ibup200> fuck it then. ban them all, let god sort it out
<pym_____> been on irc cos i say no to dougs
<erasergrowl> i feel obligated to try to come up with something catchy now so maybe one day, if i'm a good girl i will make a gem
<Robertus> Time is a river,a swift moving stream in which all people and things appear for but an instant before being swept into the sea of oblivion.
<drowninginfire> !ban Nastee_Bunnee I'm not sure if kicking you constitutes animal cruelty as well... although you are probably even lower on the evolutionary ladder than slime molds
{satans talking about literarygirl} <satans_pink_freeq> always going around channel like the intelligent mafia.. I know girls like you I saw a thing on dateline last night called "the dangerous lg's" it was all about you lg
<Equin0x> linford christie? he's a runner. <Urban_Hermit> with a name like that he probably had a lot of practise running as a kid
<^March^> I met this xtian guy with manic depression in a pward and later I met him and he asked 'are you still an atheist' and I replied, 'are you still jesus?'
<hrafn> in fact, the existence of legalized suicide might deter them from seeking attention in this way. "i want to die." "ok, i'll give you a lift to the nearest euthanasia center, because i love you and care about you." "uh.. actually, now that i think of it, maybe i'll take a rain check on that"
<kaotik> but a gun wont kill you, its the fact that your brain isnt in your skull the way it should be anymore :)
<Equin0x> why does nursing pay so relatively little when it is so very necessary?
Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world. -- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
<Invisagoth> we are so happy in here its like the fucking doomsday cult bouncin around like richard fuckin simons waitin for Hmm-Bop or whatever that ghey ass hanson song is they named after that comet
<Tired_> I dunno, I've always found myself a bit less emotionally tense after a good shit.
<jerrybob> I wanna see stories about Osama breaking into the White House and butt raping Bush
<jerrybob> let me know if you will be here...perhaps we could have coffee and then jump off a bridge together
<jerrybob> I am currently downloading porn and have unzipped my fly
<azif> oh man, i go away for a few minutes and a miss a conversation about a goatfucker
<cke73> I went to a website, and it had a banner that read "Enlarge your penis, click here." I clicked and clicked, but it's still the same size. :-(
<jerrybob> what happens if the cat on your dick goes after the gerbil up your ass?
<Coma[black]> Where the fuck are my gems? I smell discrimination..
<MarvinAndroid> Can't look up fornication -- busy with mama
<blahhalb> #asbs pickup line: so, whats your method?
"yeah i had to use a bedpan and had to whip out my shriveled traumatized Johnson in front of some male nurse" <MalfunctionXX>
<kaotik> your pussy ate the mouse that the ball is in
<kaotik> and wheres the segway for couples eh? <Azif> Yeah, they should make a couples model called the sexway <Scooter[studying]> Well what if two men who are platonic friends wished to use it? <Scooter[studying]> Or what if Coma and Amy and assertive wanted to use it to get to a future campground?
<Coma[black]> There. My name hasnt been mentioned for a whole screen. Now i can make a little pointless message about life. Im so sure people are standing in their chairs waiting to hear the idiot boy speak.
my ball keeps sticking and it shits me cos then it only goes up and down and it is no damn use to me when it is stuck right up in the corner --workup_sidhe
<_Amy_> you can have my ass coma :P
<My_Name_Is_Nova> i tried the not eating suicide method.. i lasted about 10 minutes
<crying_sidhe> he has a voice like an axe grinding on bone
<whatever111> I *love* to discuss the textures, size, smell, color, bits, etc. with my husband...fortunately he doesn't mind and just accepts my weirdness....but yes...poo <Vaipen> i have to go see my shrink now
<Scooter_> So, in conclusion, I don't think anal sex is "dirty," but you can definitely end up with some shit on your dick if you don't rinse first
* Scooter[homework] stays home and wanks while pretending he's kao
<Aures> buff girls have big dicks for the same reason | <jerrybob> LOL
<Izanbard_Prince> Erotic is using a feather, kinky is using the chicken, perverse is using JUST its head
<Izanbard_Prince> I wouldn't trust a computer you could have sex with, if it crashes, it'll probably fax your dick to Canada...
<Giga> I would make out with a guy. Like...if I was bored or something.
<jerrybob> Texas is like sooooo September 10th...
<Tapr00t> i was gonna do hat <TaKTiX> well I feel sorry for the hat
IzanbardPrince: well, it looks like I'm back on with Michael, thats cheered me up a bit
<Izanbard_Prince>looks like barbecued chicken, though I can never tell, my grandmothers buttox deep fried in peanut oil would be less chewy
<crimson_tears> oh yea, your dad...he was a real good shag :)
<crimson_tears> so whats wrong with having a thing for animals?
<hgv> i would like to rub my body against yours... <hgv> can you masterbate while i talk to you like this
<lonely_sidhe> aures..pussy farts aren't methane though.
<jerrybob> he has a vagina
<jerrybob> kindly only gem things people acttually say
<jerrybob> 60% of gay men were born that way and the rest got sucked into it
<TaKTiX> I cry when my balls itch and im in public and cant bend over and lick them like a doogy
<Scooter_> Hungary is right next to Turkey
<satans_pink_freeq> jebus said follow me.. do what I do.. drink your wine get the whores stoned... hang around the cross... talk to the invisible diety in the sky... talk about the burnin bush that you slep with... have a buch of follows so you can satasfy your foot fetish by washing thier feet.. and get sodomites stoned too
<Athena-X> Isn't it wonderfully ironic how you hear about all these 'unlucky' people who die painlessly by some tragic accident every day, yet you actually try to do it yourself and fail all the time.
<Giga> What's the difference between 13 and 14? <Giga> TELL ME! <^March^> pubic hair?
<jerrybob> can you imagine what it's like when you get to hell and satan personally buttrapes you with his red-hod double headed prick? <jerrybob> that's *got* to hurt
<BlinkingBear> omg i'm gonna pee my panys!
<MalfunctionXX> whatever I'm talking out of my ass
<Son_of_Sam> has Quit iRC ((Write Error: Broken bong))
<jerrybob> stop that <jerrybob> this is not #sucky.old.rock
<satans_little_helper> shit we aint supposed to help bitch! lol
<8SetAbominae2> satans_pinK_freeq: pissed on me?
<M20-_-> note to self: remember to use the derogatory term 'cock-holster' when present near a group of sluts
<Son_of_Sam> Sex is emotion in motion!
<Callistia> I'm 3 pairs of undies till I gotta do my laundry || <jerrybob> unless you shit your pants, then you have to wear 2 in one day || <wnl> holy flash back
<Equin0x> if a cannibal gets cornered by other cannibals he will often eat himself rather than be captured.
<raskolni_> life sucks, and then you live...
<satans_pink_freeq> I would go with a titanium loin cloth! and drive a 360 modena and have my nip piercings be white gold and my eyeborow would be platinium! and I would wipe my ass with sillk!
<Equin0x> i might, if i were.. cough... "down with da clown" i believe is the phrase
<fadingboy> nicks on snuffsex include beheader, Chloroform, NeckBreaker, and, um, Niceman2001
<MsAnnThrope> all meat stuff eventually tastes like poop if you chew it long enough
<evil_sidhe> i grab them around the neck and throttle them to death..i get to scream at them as i do it too..
<evil_sidhe> i wouldn't eat me at all
<Equin0x> heh, i found out what the private bit is for. utterly useless, i'll just ignore it.
<assertive> _Amy_ we could go for a walk and buy a bong <fadingboy> Great Moments In Ash Romance Number... <Urban_Hermit> a Hallmark moment
<empti> i like the day old stale popcorn you find in couch crevices the next day, to me it's like christmas without the trouble of wrapping
<JavaSNL> who here wants to die rightn ow <JavaSNL> in all seriousness || <dive-o> not me
<Daishi> i told my voices off one day then they came back and made me beat my own face in
<Scooter[work]> You have to really shove the entire banana up theree
"Violence against cops is better than violence against normal people, since cops are trained to deal with it, and should be prepared to die in the line of duty." -- Gabooz
<evil_sidhe> i danced around for the equinox and burnt my toe
<Giga> If you make a big hole in a vaseline tub, about 2 inches wide, then you can rub it around your penis and it'll feel like you're getting a blowjob! :P
<Giga> Fear my 6.85 inch 13-year-old penis cock thingy!
<satans_pink_freeq> why are we worried about the size of a cock... I mean it is not like it could work too well after being exposed to the amount of radiation from the computer screen
"God I hate church"- Trance-Addict
<MarvinAndroid> Can't look up manipulation -- busy with masturbation
<bzImage> Gott wies ich will kien engel sien || translation: God knows I don't want to be an angel
<MalfunctionXX> theres nothing i like more than computer nerds posting pictures of their dicks on the internet
<Azif> "Darn it! I'm tired of being a skinny scarecrow. Charles Atlas says he can make me a new man! I'll gamble a stamp and get his FREE BOOK."
<BlinkingBear> george w. and osama are secretly homosexual lovers, but shrub is such a homophobe he wants osama killed so he won't blurt out the secret
<Giga> Remember kids: Jesus loves you, but he doesn't give a shit whether you live or die. :)
<evilp0rn_sidhe> nothing, yuo want to shove your hand up my ass? | <_nothing_> nono..the other way around.
<_nothing_> You just have to think positive. And accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour :-)
<So_sober_it_Hurts> I have taken it but I don't remeber if it worked well..
<Daishi> lol | <Daishi> 1092 USD for a 1 hour flight too Boston NY from Brooklyn NY on sept.11!!!!!!!! they fucken crazy?!?
MarvinRULZ!
<SuicideSpecialist> weed is shit
<pinki-TV> I'm wating for something to happen in that movie,,, but I'm bred to death,, (heheh a method!)
<_nothing_> Prevention? HAH. Take your pills. Sit boy sit. Be a good dog. No its not the worlds fault, it syours. There are chemicals in your brain that make you liek this. Take more pills and you'll feel fine. Baaa. Take more pills and be a big white sheep. Baaaaa Love Jesus and love yourself and take your pills. Take more pills.
<Scooter_> I AM SHALLOW ... And I am offended that you think I am so desperate as to look for inner beauty ... If I wanted "inner beauty" I would have an Internet relationship!!
Vaipen: Suicide by people; bring forth many cool people and die from the cold.
<a_lone> ?? There is water flowing on the inside of my window...
<Trance-Addict> man my cherry jello rocks
<Giga> I just stroke it gently until it orgasms. :o
<luxdragon> heh those sweatshirts with mooses on them are not garbage
<Scooter_> You are Satan, hrafn
<slumbering> If I was a man, people would think I was gay, too, because I would be
<satans_pink_freeq> I would shit a brick if I pissed a pebble
<kaotik> if i were him id not be friends with you, you seem like a prick
<MalloryKnox`> i got one in my ass 2 weeks ago
<Giga> So poontang = pussy? | <kittengirl> i think i had the wrong idea of poontang | <spf_024> were you thinking of a pootie tang? | <ddffkk> not to be confused with poo nana
* Trance-Addict likes'em all | <sexy-bitch> i guess a paper bag over there head and some ky jelly makes them all the same
<hrafn> god's secretary is named ramona?
<life-o> did you sacrifice virgin chickens?
�`��=��.,�_
<BlinkingBear> 96 = sleeping apart, at opposite ends of the bed
<Trance-Addict> one time at band camp bb stuck a clarinet in his ass...
<tenebras> who's dreidel?
<zsazsa> PANTALOONS!!!!!!!!!!
<xhg> hey - new way to get out of a speeding ticket - "Uhhh, officer, I was experiencing some rather strong headwinds"
<fadingboy> help! it's the first ever gourd flood
<starfux> "I'm a crime againts humanity"
<xhg> if we enjoyed being sad, that would be like so awesome. and impossible
<wnl> ok now i have hives and my eye is twitching
<xhg> it is against company policy to drink faxes
<bjl528> i'm reading this book called "the purpose driven life" <bjl528> haven't found my purpose yet
<`6> Look at me! Sugarplum fairy, sugarplum fairy!
* flawd has quit IRC (Quit: who | grep -l chick | date; cd ~; unzip; touch; strip; finger; mount; gasp; yes; uptime; umount; sleep)
<Tired_> you guys ever wonder how much good this place really is for us? | * Disconnected
<`6> I mean the *cool* thing would be if I hooked up my cam and suddenly gorgeous chicks would be calling to strip for me.
* `6 agrees fully with Tired_. Women do *not* have to do anything to be beautiful. And he *is* a complete weirdo.
<tenebras> Rigor mortis makes me hard. aaaah
<Tired_> Well, I never got any guarantees in the package that said life would be easy.
moth is now known as mothfeedsdog || <Tired_> Don't feed the moth to the dog! || <Tired_> That's the worlds first typing moth! ||<Tired_> I wish I had a digital camera.
<tenebras> i have to fuck off now. your joystick sucks ass? that's mighty fine.||<Tired_> I had to pay extra for the feature :P
<moth> Mario is a troll who apparently had no qualms about saying he was infected FOUR TIMES with gonorrhea. <dhr> maybe he just picked a long and painful method?
<The_Sought> Stoned again.|<Giga> Having fun?|<The_Sought> No idea.
<jackie> i think the first time my mother touched me when i was 22// and it was kinda creepy
<`6> We're not funny, yer just drunk.
<darkbluepill> Lottery is a tax on the bad at math || <fiesh> though i always say lottery is a tax for the stupid ;)
<Tranzadikt`> theres a dead mexican out there that deserves the nobel prize for inventing the taco
<my0pia> how do you spell bendejo?
<Lyrad> tene looks so badass in her pic <Lyrad> its like that last thing a guy sees before he gets kicked in the crotch
<xhg> happiness is why you spend 20 mins burrowing through pistachio shells and finally recover an unopened one.
<xhg> all this talk about pot reminds me that i forgot to empty the dishwasher.
<Lyrad> everything is relative || <Lyrad> programming is fun compared to say... ditch-digging
<anton-> friends were pestering me into eating sushi |<anton-> so i tried the one that looks like someone's tongue had been put onto a ball of rice
<hrafn> is that guy in the computer chair a buddhist monk or a fat jean-luc picard?
<Trance-Addict> anybody want a used black cat? <Prekestol> what do you mean by "used"?
<Lyrad> Chist does not want to eat Vatshu || <Vatshu> Crepes are yummy | <ariane> christ - will you please eat Vatshu?
* Lyrad goes to perform a SCSI transpant on his computers. I hope the blood types match
<sadpeterpan> fuck, shit, bitch... i can't remember the last time i typed such words on irc without being kicked | <asdf__> words like mac OS X, unix, ssh, kernel, file systems, scheduler, compilers are all also permitted
<starfux> d^_^b
<eraserISaUSER> and no one that knows me will ever understand <smg_tv> same shit, different people
<Vatshu> I think you are mixing up your fantasy with reality, daishi | <Daishi> well your not in it so i cant be /:
<asdf_hiding> i wish they would have all you can eat cyanide in brazil.... they do have all you can eat meat places though... it still doesn't make up for the lack of cyanide
<Vatshu> Topless samba hotties of Brazil!!
<Vatshu> Jeez tene, you want to make some Vatshu trading cards and action figures while at it? || <Vatshu> World's first suicidal unemployed superhero from Japan!!
* Troll2 does the Repent-and-sin-no-more dance | * Troll does the 'dont kill yourself' shuffle
<Lyrad> !seen cat hat || <MarvinAndroid> - Haven't seen cat on hat
<evil_sidhe> well you suck | <trykydyk> indeed i do | * trykydyk sucks nearest object
<Self_Mutilated_Girl> wish i was a hermafrodite. then u couldn't complain of the lack of sex
<Self_Mutilated_Girl> how come i can't op people? <Twilight-> cause u cant op people who are already dead
<GhostChe> we're so badass, not only are we gonna kill ourselves but hey we are also gonna stick it to microsoft!
<samvega> gotta love the internet, where you can safely and unanimously knife your fellow humans between the ribs in the comfort of your own home
<Spoons> I'm watching the shows about how they solved crimes with forensic science |<Spoons> so many people get caught because they bite the victim.... idiots
<Hermotimus> I'm sure in a pinch the funeral homne will supply pallbearers. |<tenebras> they do, yes|* Becky854 has a new career plan
<Spoons> and to think I wasted my time as a youngster collecting all sorts of insects in a jar and watching them fight each other :P
<Twilight-> and now he owns many-a-gun....i tended to keep on his good side before, maybe now i should piss him off
<Spoons> twilight maybe instead of running in front of a train, you could where a deer costume and run around the gun club
<Twilight-> he asked me to go to the gun club once and i was thinking of getting it all wrong and pointing the gun at myself instead of the target....but it would have cost me $70 just for like 5 mins so i turned that down....being broke screwed me yet again
<mr_zel> the ratio of girls to guys is really high in this channel compared the ones im usually in| <mr_zel> in over a year of hanging around quake 3 channels, i've seen 4 or 5 girls|<mr_zel> so, guys like quake, girls like suicide
<xhg> kill me if i ever start to sound like an engineer
<xhg> my whole existance is a vast series of packet errors. if irc were perfect, I would not even exist.
<pinkers> anyway, happy women's day to all women |<Fairy> happy women'day? that is in march irght/| <Fairy> fuck it is march|<anton-> why isn't it marked on my monty python calender?
<xhg> Stop typing !gem.
<xhg> did you see the one with the evil goldfish?
<xhg> yay :) | <xhg> nuns in bikinis
<xhg> so ok i have a swimsuit calandar. ok that's bad. but .... why did they put someone named "April" on the month of "March"?
<Lyrad2> how goes the day, xhg? |<xhg> not 2 terrible|<xhg> yours?|<Lyrad2> 1.5 terrible
<xhg> how much do slaves cost? |<SR-71A> you talking hard drives or men who follow after me on a leash?
<samvega> The sunshine freshly/ reflecting from/ my freshly-shaven head.
<Lyrad> I think I have that quality where ppl stare and try to figure out what's that thing that's bugging em
<Donaaallld> Whats the worst it will do kill me?!? Thats it.. Im making some pancakes!!
<SR-71A> how you going to eat a peanut through a Proboscis??
<self_mutilated_girl> i lost my cyber-virginity a long time ago <self_mutilated_girl> at least it didn't hurt <Po> It could if you had carpal tunnel
<Becky854> there's two parallel conversations that are getting tangled |<tenebras> plaited conversation| <samvega> tartan talk
<tenebras> mosquito larvae! <Becky854> not kosher! <Becky854> :P
<mr_zel> i didn't wanna try antifreeze cause the winter's over..it doesn't seem stylish enough
<xhg_oldfart> becky - well i understand how you could have been dissapointed - but you see, I had no preconceived notions about what the movie was going to be about. I didn't even know it would involve lesbianism. So since I didn't know, I was pleasantly surprised.
<Lyrad> cats are amusing for about a week
<Lyrad> I don't think I've been touched by anyone since the clinton era
<Chagrin> i just don't think anything is worthwhile enough to bother with, yet most everything bugs me the way it is
* xhg plays with xhg
<The_Sought> I heard good things about dwarf punting, actually.
<ariane> Some ppl think Saddam isn't even alive. |<xhg> some ppl think the earth is flat. |<samvega_puttering> saddam's been running a 7/11 in hawaii for ten years, laughing his ass off
<The_Sought> bjl528: U.S. laws don't apply to the internet.
<The_Sought> I've always wanted a tentacle.
<Donaaallld> Allright.. no one is getting blown up.. Going to foridge for food..
<tenebras> ahh make BB practise duets on phone with you :}| <Tangerine> skin flute|<AcademicBecky> theat would be great
<Lyrad[work]> !seen Weapons_of_mass_destruction |<MarvinAndroid> - Haven't seen Weapons_of_mass_destruction
<Giga> And the war has started. Let's all eat some fruit.
<samvega> im a war correspondent, you can tell because i alway interrupt myself mid sentence and never get to the point]
<life-o> ashers for peace | <life-o> or something
* Mordici has quit IRC (Quit: >?< I believe what people address me by is Captain Monkeyspank)
<samvega> iraq: think of the cats..
<life-o> i'm glad i live in a western democracy where i can look freely at internet porn without fear of persecution | <starfux> I'm gonna take smoe more pics of me
<starfux> 'cannont read from the source file or disk' | <anton-> try F5 | <anton-> it should be gone| <anton-> if not, you'll need some petrol and a match/lighter for the next step
<Q> starfux: john hurt style in Alien 1 - when i saw that at the movies and the alien jumped out of his stomach at dinner, someone in the cinema said "he must have had a Big Mac for dinner"
<Horrens> we are but packets in the internet of life
<MaidBecky> you have to wait, one boyfriend out, before the next in
<starfux_movie> I alrdy drew some characters on flash | * MarvinAndroid has quit IRC (Quit: Life's bad enough as it is without wanting to invent anymore of it.)
<samvega> its weird now that i know that the way i feel is called depression, i look back upon my whole life and realise thats the way i always felt
<xhg> leave jesus out of this <xhg> killkilldiedie
<xhg> I think you should know that I've been damaged.
<Giga> I HATE YOU ALL. | * Giga takes a nap. | <starfux> i love you too giga | <xhg> giga feeling is multual | <xhg> mutual?
<Janemoth> The tab key is the devil's workshop.
<hrafn> fugly crepuscular misanthropes
<hrafn> i married an introspective self-aware man. did i relinquish my gender at that point? :P
<tenebras> no i was talking packs of contraceptives <hrafn> no, i meant fb
<ReclusiveIntrovert> umm can you take suppositories orally ?
<kaotik> i like my benzo addiction, i just need an upgrade to heavier stuff
<Do> now i need to kniow how to do it' | <Tired_> I thought that'd be funny, considering how many kids Do has
<xhg> i'll kill anyone who says i have a violent side
<Chagrin> hmm, according to spam not only can i grow 2 full cup size, but i can add inches to my penis .. that's swell
<xhg> cross my heart and hope to live
<Do> imagine a plane with ashers and a poor terrorist on board
<dex> Hmm. Let's see. I smoked pot after taking my meds tonight. Then I sat and overstimulated myself until I hallucinated. Now perhaps I should go out drinking. After all, I work tomorrow morning.
<Q> who are you, mr_zel? | <mr_zel> i'm mr_zel
<dex> sometimes I feel like such a .. girl. |<samvega> ya....i wish my dad slaped me around more, so i could blend in more when they talk about trucks| <samvega> i suck at sarcasm
<Ariane5> I was playing Trivial Dispute with my partially sighted Mother many moons ago and she read this off her card "How many testicles does an octopus have"?!!! | <Ariane5> I actually sat there and said "I don't know!!!!!!!" | <Ariane5> ...before she realised it said tentacles. | <mr_zel> all i know is it has 8 pussys
<samvega> many studies have found that stoned drivers are safer than the control group <samvega> strangly enough <Lyrad[work]> maybe because they just sit in the parking lot staring at the gas gauge
<flawd-depressed> today is going to be a long shitty day <anton-> i think that was in one of my fortune cookies
<xhg> have you ever tried to teach table manners to a trout? <litgirl> yes, but i married him anyway
<Giga> MY ASSHOLE FRIEND IS IN THE ROOM. <Giga> AND HE WON'T LET ME MASTURBATE IN PEACE.
<fadingboy> Secretary Rumsfeld, Gen. Myers Ask 'Where's Saddam Hussein?' fadingboy asks - what about osama? <life-o> osama? doesn't ring a bell. did he work for enron?
<HyperKinetic> I want PGP so I can encript my suicide note <HyperKinetic> I'd keep the living guessing for years
<Lyrad[work]> Man found dead in apartment. Donuts everywhere. Film at 11.
<styrofoam> I haven't taken my meds all week. I don't know why.. but it's been making me really depressed.
<HyperKinetic> I want my ashes to be used as kitty litter <HyperKinetic> They'd serve a purpose that way <candycoated> and if there is an afterlife you can think to yourself, "hrm. a cat is pissing on me."
<HyperKinetic> Fuck China! It'll take a long time to go through over a billion people but I'm up for it!
<hrafn> the beer-that-is-wine is even more totally weird than i am
<hrafn> it's like that song "dude looks like a lady," only replace "dude" with "weird malt beverage," and replace "lady" with "wine cooler"
<tenebras> i like the way when i came on here, when anyone comes on here with an indefinite-gender nick, they are assumed to be male.|<PauperIll> but then the word leaks out about you having no Y chromosome, and all hell breaks loose :)
ASBS: <hrafn> equal opportunity disrespect!
<PauperIll> heh - some people assume if you have a spouse, you automatically have a sensitive, willing-to-listen, anytime-you-need-sex partner
<tenebras> Anyone can gem, and please, everyone should
<tenebras> DEPRESSION IS NOT SOLVED BY A REGULAR FUCK. can i make that clear?
<hrafn> the general usage "i'm depressed" is as akin to our depression, as saying that the love in "i love pepsi" is equivalent to "i love my partner."
<`6> I asked him if I actually look that young to him and he said "Well, no, but you look kindda goofy."
<`6> I got another gem. :) <`6> Kickass.
* Do must leave beacuse BB wants to find porn to masterbate to. bbl
<PauperIll> we having fun yet? | * hrafn looks around | <hrafn> perhaps everyone is having so much fun, it rendered them speechless
<Lyrad[work]> That's a liability of irc at work, you look away, and all of sudden your window is filled with refereneces to strapons and vaseline
<xhg> litgirl all is fair in love and war. which will it be?
<Lyrad[work]> that proves you simply can't have an intelligent discussion about penii
<starfux> well move the curser over it | <CaptainWes> all thats gonna do is get a bunch of obscenities all over my desktop?
<`8-}> well, when u r too ocious... the tendence is to start philosofing... and thats good... thats make a stupid cuestion interesting | <`8-}> like... who was frist, the egg or the chiken
<Fairy> they should invent a remote cotrol with pause button for life
<SR-71A> but I want a supersonic something.... don't think men come that way...... oh, <remembers> forget that... yes they do
<Fairy> my god you people are like a busload of lunatics on a daytrip
<Zaboo> That peer ain't no friend of mine
<Ariane> I don't say fook, I fooken say fuck!
<aPerfectCircle[alone[> oh for fuck s sake i cant even fucking type proply
<qwerty_> Ok... must go eat... or teeth will turn around and... EAT MY BRAIN!!
<Tired_> Oh, literarygirl, did I tell you, the BC gov't told me yesterday that suicide isn't a life-threatening condition.
<Sought[fall]> Life is a stupid bitch that should be smacked repeatedly in the head with a shovel. Just thought you all should know.
<^Iver^> this place is depressing
<Horrens> Reality is what refuses to go away when I stop believing in it.
<Lyrad[work]> I spend too much time around video games. When someone says "killed a certain way" I'm thinking "16-hit combo"
<samvega> ya, it seems to be a reall process of roullette to find a antidepressant match | <`6> Heh, no, Russian roulette involves a possibility of winning. :)
Janemoth is looking for a power lesbian to make her parental polymorphous perverse sexual pantheon complete.
* runah wants to date an asher (dont like longtime relations-ships)
<^Iver^> the bible is full of potheads, why do you think they saw a burning bush?
<litgirl> the last time i got gemmed was in the back of a chevy
<xhg> !newgem <xhg> gemming yourself is just NOT done. | <MarvinAndroid> wrote "<xhg> gemming yourself is just NOT done." to the gems file
<mr_zel> you know you've been online too much when you refer to your weight in terms of bandwidth
<dex> I hate it when I open something like the Control Panel, and then sit and stare blankly at it, wondering, "Why am I here?"
<kittengirl> anyone want to hear my grades? |<Homicidal> Come on Sun, explode!
<tenebrb> ironic really. I love 2B pencils, but i'm very not2B in life. hmm | <tenebrb> there was a piece of absolutely boring introspection for you.
<Shower-Addict> is it possible to send yourself in a crate to some place? || <xhg> just bring something to pee/crap in, and some food and an airhole. and if you die, well, this is #asbs
<Homicidal> Not all gems are funny.
<mr_zel> hitler smoked weed? | <Shower-Addict> no i think he ate grass like a cow | <mr_zel> well now im sure i'll never be a neo-nazi
<PauperIll> "I am an American Soldier. I am more dangerous to my allies than the enemy is. I am an Army of One."
<Draeko> that's a very interesting thought... depressed borg ants
<Trance-Addict> i want to bounce my tits ^_^
<xhg> what's the point to living? |<FrancaisBecky> point to living - don't ponder it too hard | <FrancaisBecky> right now, it's because the weather is so nice
<xhg> Fairy do you want to be in a long distance relationship?
<xhg> the best girls are married | <mr_zel> my aunt got married, that destroys your theory
<Fairy> why did i have to go to a suicide group to make new friends??
<God> I meant to do that.
<xhg> if toilets did irc and served food you would never have to leave the stall | <Lyrad[work]> you are either disgusting, or a man way ahead of your time
Stop gemming everything, you tasteless idiots. -Scooter_
<Lyrad[work]> I make perfect soft-boiled eggs | <litgirl[lunch]> and you're still single?
<Life> I am cruel to everybody I choose
<MarvinAndroid> - Haven't seen sex
<litgirl> dex, would gravol help?|<dex> no, things like that don't work for me. except of course in the "if you take a whole box it's quite fun" sense
<Janemoth> It's strange how testicles creep around on their own.
<Scooter_> No more gems!
<Scooter_> It's not for you, you milk squirting child molestor!
<Janemoth> My clit is getting erect right now for Scooter!
<Janemoth> "Turn off the light, it will sear the retinas of my oppressed people!"
<Janemoth> hrafn, we're here if you want to talk, and scooter is here if you want your sensitive issues mocked.
<CaptainWes> what would I look like |<Janemoth> Typical Florida crust bucket?
<Ta> why dont supermodels stalk loser guys?
<Zaboo> I want Britney Spears to be my maid... I wouldn't fuck her (maybe) but I'd verbally abuse her for making bad songs
<Ta> no earth will be a single nueron or cell | <Ta> and more planets will be more cells | <Ta> space could just be a womb | <satans_pink_freeq> LOL | <Ta> does a pussy of gigantic proportions make you giggle spf? | <satans_pink_freeq> yes
*Ta sodomizes himself with a big giant dildo
<Scooter_> Jane, I wish you would go to the local nursing home and fuck the oldest paralytic hag you found, just to satisfy your gross geriatric fetish
<litgirl> i had dinner with a guy tonight | <Scooter_> Did you have fun?|<litgirl> it was better than discussing semiotics with my dogs AGAIN
<jackie> he just doesnt have computer access | <Becky854> around here that's like the same as being dead
<shadow_is_frowning> I figured out what they play in hell | <Callistia> whats that? Golf?
<litgirl> my husband may have married ms right, but he didn't know my first name was "always"
<hrafn> something tells me that i won't be so virtuous after the post-easter candy clearance :P
<Fairy> i swear to god and my cats i never met a stranger crowd then you lot
* Giga shakes his groove thing. | <Giga> Giga's Booty: Granting people their dreams one homicide at a time.
<Zaboo> We're all Africans, in a way
<Black-Zaboo> Yeah, Scooter's a gem nazi
<Giga> Go ahead. One of you assholes type !newgem <zelgadis> !newgem <Wyrd> !newgem <Scooter_> !newgem <Scooter_> I should be the only one allowed to gem things...
<zelgadis> i thought Scooter_ was a she | <hrafn> dude, scooter is all man
<Trance-Addict> scooter worships the devil and blasphemes against the name of god, come now people of god we will stone him, hack him to peices, and feed him to dogs in the name of the lord!
<Zaboo> This is me dancing to another rap classic: "Hip hop hurraY" | <Zaboo> Hip hop hurray | <Zaboo> \o\ ho \o/ hey /o/ ho
<spf_hangover> I just pissed of the southwestern bell people | <spf_hangover> they were asking for my mom and said my names not on the account so they can't tell me why they need to talk to me.. | <spf_hangover> I told them that they need to go lick a dick on a stick and eat it too | <spf_hangover> they are gonna call back later they said.. | <spf_hangover> I will be waiting to tell them to lick a dick on a stick again..
<xhg> tenebbl: poll question: uma therman or jeanine garafolo? | <xhg> which is prettier? | <tenebbl> bugger off and masturbate. | <Lyrad[work]> ironically, he probably did
<hrafn> i'm still here | <hrafn> i just can't think of anything to say, because i'm really boring
<Zaboo> I would like to see scientists one day quantify "the buttload"
<Giga> DEAR GOD NEVER DRINK THIS SHIT WHEN YOU'RE LOOKING AT BLOWJOB MOVIES. UGH.
<mr_zel> im going to be immortalized by a biased news source
<?> On the 8th day God created ASH
<Giga> Good night, my children. The death of a loved one is only surpassed by the mourning for them, but after they return by means of mysterious transportation, one can only wish they had passed again for the sake of peace. www.gigabytes.tk
<Scooter_> <== gem queen | <tenebras> you want me to gem that, scooter? |* Scooter_ is now known as Scooter[gemqueen]|<Scooter[gemqueen]> NO
<Fairy> but i like the nuts the best
<kittengirl> i have to pay for tongue | <kittengirl> i cant get it from my uncle
<kittengirl> i just realized how funny that thing i said about my tongue and my uncle was
<fadingboy> yet never attract the attention of women > what do you mean!? why, a dozen high school girls were pointing at me and giggling the other day
<kittengirl> when my cat comes for me im leaving
<Callistia> Ignorance = They are REAL lesbians, in love, have sex, sing about it, are russian, etc
<Lyrad[work]> I think what women suffer in childbirth is partially made up for in what men suffer in nad-kicking
<hystericalgirl> if i had PTSD and a penis i'd be all set
<Callistia> Funny how gene pool and sess pool have the same last name :D
<DarkRaven> I'm hiding out in bed - on strike for a better life
<xhg> i hate when i correct myself when i'm right
<slumbering> that's cuz your ass is the gift of life
* Scooter_ sucks your ass with an exhaust pipe
<Janemoth> Shh. He's touching himself inappropriatly.
<tenebras> what could be inappropriate? |<Janemoth> Let's just say you wouldn't want him to do it in your daughter's preschool.
* Giga has quit IRC (Quit: Don't make me speak to you in uppercase.)
<Giga> I shall eat ice cream and masturbate, but not simultaneously. | <kittengirl> u always masturbate giga | <Giga> kittengirl: YES. YES I DO.
<Callistia> Oh yeah, they seen his little rotar blade too |<tenebras> Your boyfriend, the Whipper Snipper. | <Callistia> "Stir your tea, madam?"
<cj> *brb* getting chocolate |<tld> *brb* getting chocolate|<xhg> *brb* getting laid
<xhg> i don't like gutting my fish in my office so i just do it in my boss's office
<xhg> "I don't really like talking about my flair"
<xhg> TC how nonbig are you?
<MarvinAndroid> {cocotte}, {whore}, {trollop}, {bawd}, {tart}, {cyprian},{fancy woman}, {working girl}, {sporting lady}, {lady of pleasure}, {woman of the street}
<xhg> i think if everyone was happy, people would become complacent and never desire anything and so nothing would get done and the planet would go to hell and we'de stop reproducing and we'de all die
<spf_trapped> ewww have babies? <Giga|RISG> spf: PENIS GOES INTO VAGINA. IT IS FUN.
<Lyrad[work]> wow, if irc identify stresses you out, you really shouldn't go out into the real world
*** litgirl[shops] is now known as litgirl[broke]
<Trance-Addict> man im sweating not like a pig but some sorta ancient pre-historic animal the became extinct from over sweating
<xhg> my cat refuses to give me the tv clicker
<kittengirl> i dont bite lol
<guest> sex isn't illegal || <SR-71A> and that's unusual, bc anything worth doing is usually illegal :p
<xhg> the real reason i have a baby monitor is to monitor my laundry which is 2 floors below |<xhg> but if i ever get preggy i'm all set
<^Iver^> is there a program for a website to have secure downloads via password protection, which can link to a database? |<^Iver^> are we in a transexual conversation ?
<spf_blasted> during the day it is the mini van of soccer moms.. but during the night it is transformed into the evil minivan of doom that is never a sober ride..
<tenetranslucent> the only gems i'm going to get are in this channel :}
<hrafn> my life should not resemble fleetwood mac songs
<kittengirl> i used to smoke hmm | <spf_blasted> man cigs are the last thing you wanna put in your lungs.. if you smoke too much it makes toking the weed pretty difficult."
<Zaboo> Have I missed any new or interesting situations while I was gone? |<DarkRaven> We were discussing possible negative aspects of the musical stylings of LL Cool J|<DarkRaven> And that we liked xanax
<SR-dissociated> I told my soulmate after our first time "When I sit, I think of you"
<GhostChe> i don't understand how you can write that much
<mr_zel> ah shit, i've gotta pick up my brother at the bus stop
<xhg> my hair is making me sneeze
<slumbering> How does a person do a disc defragmentation on a mac? * drowninginfire knows how to *fragment* mac hard drives, but that involves a sledgehammer, shotgun and explosives <drowninginfire> compatible with PC, too!
(xhg uses !seen) <xhg[work]> they need a command for predicting the return of someone
* tenebras runs around in spheres|<Zaboo> Cool|* tenebras gets pretentious| * tenebras runs around in cubes|* Zaboo gets preposterous and runs around in dodecahedrons
<dex> i wish they sold a product at the grocery store called "libido be gone"
<Chagrin> you want to be older when your young and younger when you're old <Giga> I'm depressed. I'd rather be dead than young.
<Scooter_> I want a colonic irrigation!
<CaptainWes> yeah you shoulda stopped talking 4 lines ago....<CaptainWes> .... <The_Sought> or 5,000 lines ago.
<Zaboo> I had the weirdest dream while I was out too |<Zaboo> I was a student at a jedi academy and we were attacked by the bad people...<Zaboo> And somehow I had to use my jedi mind-clouding powers to hide this baby|<Zaboo> And some of the evil sentinel guards were umm those African prairie dogs|<Zaboo> Don't remember the name right now
<kittengirl> i think its time to give someone their anti-psycotics |<Zaboo> Ooh ooh, me? *bounces up and down* Is it my turn? *bounce bounce*
<tene-webdelving> sometimes i pee when i laugh.
<CaptainWes> some people just can't be reasoned with |<CaptainWes> say trance, where do you live?
<CaptainWes> shes what we in the industry refer to as an attention whore
<Janemoth> I wonder if it would be illegal to change my name to JennyFuckSlut, set up a cam, charge people thirty dollars to see it, and have it focused on a potted plant or a pile of books. I'd like some money but I don't wnat to do anything to get it.
<colonopenparen> :)
<^`^> all the girls wants me, but I don't let them. just because I can >:)| <asdf_away> lol|<xhg> yeah me too|<xhg> darn i hit my nose against the monitor again!
<tenessaying> im not sure what it meant, but damn it made me laff
<asdf_away> !seen myself | <MarvinAndroid> - Last saw myself 70wks 2days 14hrs 58mins 6secs ago. (changed nick to Guest55593)
<xhg> if i run out of disk space again i'm going to eat someone
<fadingboy> real name time? | * fadingboy is now known as Fabio
<Set> my grandfather was the swedish king | <xhg> my fav 70s pop group was swedish | <Set> xhg, you are my other grandfather :)
<CaptainWes> state doctors are no good || <CaptainWes> and I only spent a day in there || <CaptainWes> but its better than jail || <CaptainWes> marginally