#alt.suicide.bus.stop

#alt.suicide.bus.stop is an irc channel, a place where people who are suicidal or depressed can express their feelings or vent, without fear of intervention. Allowing persons to talk about their ideas about suicide, or dealing with long term mental illness and the associated difficulties with others sharing our plight, is a very powerful way to not feel "alone" as many of us do daily.

The irc server for #alt.suicide.bus.stop is irc.ashbusstop.org with port 6667

"Catching the bus" is a euphemism for suicide. The bus stop is a place to hang out while waiting for a bus, trying to decide whether to catch one, or just for the company of other bus stop regulars.

Suicide is a tricky topic. It's okay to talk about feeling suicidal, but if you ask for help people will expect you to be trying to help yourself. Likewise, suicidal people who come here are not looking to be saved.

Please, if you're intensely and immediately suicidal and you do want help or intervention for yourself, call a crisis line (links to sites with international numbers as well as US numbers), your therapist or doctor, a hospital, or the local equivalent of 911.

We do NOT discuss methods. Discussion of methods or how to obtain methods is strictly forbidden and will met with banishment from the network.

#alt.suicide.bus.stop is not the place to come and "save" people from themselves. Calling for help for others is a violation of one of our basic principles: the right of free choice, and doing so will not be appreciated or tolerated.

There is no real fixed topic of discussion, other than the fact that suicide tends to be discussed rather often. The channel is pro-choice suicide, meaning that it's the individual's decision - and nobody else's. The conversation could be mellow, intense, philosophical or funny, depending on the mood of the participants. The tone of the conversation can change easily.

If your sole reason for being here is that you're looking to trade software or get laid, don't bother coming in; you will be asked to leave. A/S/L questions often don't go over well, especially if they're the first thing you say when you come in.

This channel is first and foremost for the support of suicidal people. Families and friends should realize that they may be asked to leave the channel if anyone there is uncomfortable with their presence.

#alt.suicide.bus.stop is moderated. Those trusted regulars with channel operator status and can get rid of interventionists or spammers. Please approach an op (member will have an @ before their nick) if you find this to be an issue.

If you can't deal with our approach or if you are opposed to moderation, you'll be much happier somewhere else, and we'll be happy to direct you to other forums which you may find more suitable to your taste.

Who is welcome in the channel?

ASBS welcomes everyone regardless of race, ethnicity, nationality, gender (or confusion thereof), sexual orientation, kink, physical handicap, or mental illness.
waiting for the bus

We do not welcome interventionists or spammers whom we permanently ban, and we will temporarily ban you if you disrupt the channel in a manner that makes it unusable for others even if you are an ASHer.

Age is one we waver on a bit, since maturity is not necessarily a function of age. We consider most teenagers welcome, but have occasionally thrown out younger kids who seemed to be there just because they thought it was terribly cool to have snuck into a grown-up space while their moms weren't watching. Also, it gets iffy to post your info to the web site if you're under-aged due to concerns about liability. But we err on the side of being there for whoever needs us - there's no minimum age to be an ASHer.

However, in these days of parental controls and other means available for use to limit the sites to which underage children go, we will not be and therefore cannot be held responsible for the access to this site and any related material, IRC access or posting to the Bus Stop webboard by such persons.

Parents need to be parents. If you do not know where your child is going on the internet... your negligence is not our responsibility. If you are here and underage, we assume that it is with permission and knowledge of your responsible guardian/parent. It is your responsibility to be aware of that. It is agreed on by virtue of using ASBS and its various components (not limited to website, webboard, IRC server) you agree to have followed the above in regard to underage knowledge and consent.

We intend to be inclusive - if you are depressed or suicidal and need a peer group, we are here. There is not enough of us to be exclusionary and bigoted, we could not afford to be even if we wanted to, and we do not want to. Thus gay-bashing, racism, and sexism is not tolerated on the group and is considered "disruption of the channel", which can get you banned. Hostility towards any other ASHer is not tolerated (though disagreements do occur).

On the other side of the coin, being suicidal seems to bring out a certain morbid sense of humor. If you find something offensive, please just tell people it's making you uncomfortable and try to work it out. If you start off with the understanding that we don't intend to be hurtful to anyone, you'll find yourself able to work out any misunderstandings that occur.

#alt.suicide.bus.stop channel operation

If you're new to IRC (Internet Relay Chat), you might want to take a peek at these documents before you read any further.

Guidelines

NO methods discussions are allowed.

Spamming, flooding, trolling (as defined by the OPS), and "hacking" attempts will not be tolerated.

On topic conversation always takes precedent.Our primary goal here is providing a safe place for peer to peer support for suicidal/depressed persons.

Sometimes topics will come up that make you feel uneasy or a little freaked out. If it's a personal attack or really graphic stuff or a threat, tell a OP immediately -- those things are definitely not permitted.

Usually, though, it's more subtle than that. The chat is looser than the list or board, and you might find yourself reading a conversation that touches on something you have a hard time dealing with. If this happens, it's okay to politely tell the channel that you're not comfortable with the topic. At this point, one of three things will happen:

other people will chime in and say they're not comfortable either and the people who want to stay in the old convo will take it private;
most people will be okay with the topic but will be willing to change it anyway; or
most people will be okay with the topic and want or need to continue the conversation.

           If the channel wants to continue the conversation, you should find a way to keep yourself safe. You could ask if someone
           wants to talk to you in private messages (so you're not reading the main channel for a while), you can use /part to leave
           the channel for a bit and ask someone to message you when the topic is changed, you can leave the chat for a while, or
           you can (in some irc programs) ignore the people talking about it for a while. You can also talk to a SOP about how you
           feel and how you can cope with the feelings you're having.

Avoid being wildly and continually off-topic. A little joking about is fine - we certainly don't require everyone to be permanently depressed - but even if you're not feeling suicidal, remember that others probably are; and they may see the channel as one last refuge from shiny-happiness and juvenile behaviour.

Personal issues between channel members should not be aired in the channel. Please take any arguments to e-mail or private messages rather than disrupting #alt.suicide.bus.stop and possibly upsetting others or dragging them into it.

Idling on the channel is okay, but if you know you're going to be away for many hours it's better to leave and come back later. A few people have been known to hang around in the channel for days or weeks at a time without ever saying a word. They tend to get banned as soon as one of the regulars gets paranoid. Please change your nick to i.e: mynick_away so that we know you aren't at your computer. This is a common courtesy to others who otherwise assume you are still active and able to respond to messages.

The institutionalized stupidity so prevalent elsewhere on IRC seems to be largely absent from #alt.suicide.bus.stop. If you wander into the channel and say, "Hy d00dz!!! How R U doing 2day???", people will think you're a moron and treat you as such.

Turn off annoying, unnecessary scripts (such as auto-greetings and MP3 song readouts).

Finally, don't disrupt the channel. Disruption being defined as

repeatedly triggering the channel bot with !dict or other commands when others are talking in the channel (see Marvin)
flooding the channel with quoted text
picking arguments

Channel Operators

The OPs' responsibility is to ensure that people respect the purpose and environment of the channel, not drowning it in irrelevance or deliberately stirring up trouble.

The OPs, or channel operators, on #alt.suicide.bus.stop fall into two categories: AOPs (automatic ops) and SOPs (super ops, who can use a few additional commands). People who aren't AOPs or SOPs cannot receive operator status in the channel.

OPs have the ability to change the channel topic. This is displayed to you when you first join the channel. The topic should always include the address of the channel Web page and the words "Pro-choice suicide chat"; it may also contain other things of current interest or relevance.

The Operators are required to follow a Code Of Conduct. If you are offered AOP or SOP status, you should read about what is expected of you here.

There are two types of ban: regular channel bans, which last for a few hours or a few days, depending on the severity of the offense; and akicks, which are more permanent and can be set only by a SOP.

If you have problems on the channel or in PM (private message) chat

Personal attacks are not permitted on the channel. If people want to fight with each other in private messages we can't stop them, but fighting is not permitted in the public channel. Odds are the 20 other people in the channel don't want to listen to your disagreement.

Whichever side of a dispute you find yourself on, remember that the people on the other side have good reasons for their behavior (just as you have good reasons for yours). Treat them gently and with respect. The guidelines aren't a win/lose thing; the idea is for us all to find ways to be gentle with ourselves and each other. If you're having a hard time being calm about a guidelines issue, definitely take it to a Operator.

If someone makes remarks to you which you find offensive or threatening in a personal message, please tell an Operator immediately.

If you don't know how to do any of the things discussed here, please ask in channel - we'll be happy to explain to you how to do an ignore or log files or such.

If you have problems with a person on the channel, the simplest way to solve them is to put the person on ignore. When you put someone on ignore, you cannot see anything they write in channel and they cannot send you private messages (PMs). This can solve 95% of the problems you may encounter.

If the problem is more serious than that, you should discuss it with one or more of the channel operators present in the channel at the time in PM. If the problem occurred in channel, they should already be aware of it. If the problem occurred in PMs, you have logfiles which are generated by your IRC client if you have the logging function turned on. If you do not have logfiles, you can generally paste the offending text into a text file and save it from out of your client as long as you have not shut the window yet. If you do not have logfiles, just go ahead and explain the problem as best you can.

The channel operator may not respond to your complaint visibly, he or she is likely to talk to the offending party behind the scenes and try to work things out. We generally avoid banning people from channel unless they are spamming, attempting to hack or being interventionist-type trolls. ASHers tend to be emotionally volatile people and we try to work things out rather than ban immediately. The Operators are also required to follow the Operators Code Of Conduct. If you think this has not been the case, please email SR-71A and she will forward your complaint to a mailing list of the Operators for discussion.

Usually, you can tell who the channel operators are from your IRC client (for instance, mIRC marks OPs with an @ before their names).

If no channel operator is available at the time, you can send a short message to any of the AOPs or SOPs via memoserv. If you need to send a longer message, please send email to one of the SOPs.

If you are unsatisfied with the resolution of your problem via talking to an individual channel operator, you can appeal a decision by sending email to SR-71A and she will forward your complaint to a mailing list of the SOPs for discussion. A decision will be made within a few days.

If you remain dissatisfied after that, your final appeal is to set up your own channel and run it however you like.

This page last updated on 22-Mar-2007 20:40