ash: predators amongst us   ASH
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The following logfiles are complete and accurate, spelling errors, typo's and all. The only changes I have made is HTML formatting, removal of all nicks except mine and his, and removal of any of his personal information.

-Susan Smith

Session Start: Thu Dec 14 09:16:53 2000
[09:16] Session Ident: Euthanasia44 (IP deleted)
[09:16] (Euthanasia44) Hi there, get some sleep?
[09:17] (stbdchick) yes, I did
[09:17] (stbdchick) and I'm sorry I did too
[09:17] (stbdchick) (nick deleted) may have died last night
[09:17] (Euthanasia44) OH?
[09:17] (Euthanasia44) why do you think that?
[09:17] (stbdchick) cause she said she was gonna
[09:18] (stbdchick) and I asked someone else to talk to her when i was too tired to do so
[09:18] (Euthanasia44) I did see her postings on ASH
[09:18] (stbdchick) and the last log of the convo, she was counting down
[09:18] (Euthanasia44) hmmmmmm
[09:18] (Euthanasia44) I hope not
[09:19] (Euthanasia44) I talked to her too
[09:19] (stbdchick) I hope not too
[09:19] (Euthanasia44) I was going to talk to her today about her postings however
[09:20] (Euthanasia44) Not sure what to think now
[09:20] (stbdchick) that's why I couldn't talk last night - had too many heavy convo's going on at once
[09:20] (stbdchick) still do
[09:20] (Euthanasia44) yes
[09:20] (stbdchick) I'm really upset about her
[09:21] (stbdchick) she is very good people
[09:21] (Euthanasia44) Why? were, or are you close toher?
[09:21] (Euthanasia44) I really thought I talked her out of jumping
[09:23] (stbdchick) I'm close to a few people... I dunno, her posts really touched me...
[09:23] (stbdchick) we';ve chatted a few times
[09:24] (Euthanasia44) I know she wants to die, but really think, or thought I had her talked out of jumping
[09:24] (stbdchick) she doesn't want to die
[09:24] (stbdchick) she wants someone to help her
[09:24] (stbdchick) she's told several people she didn't really want to die
[09:24] (Euthanasia44) But what about you? you know people would be upset when you go too?
[09:24] (stbdchick) my siotuation is different
[09:24] (Euthanasia44) hmmmmmmmm
[09:25] (stbdchick) I do not want to be rescued
[09:25] (Euthanasia44) I was going to ask her about that, saw something in her post that said she really ws not ready to die, your right
[09:25] (stbdchick) I do not logon and tell everyone when I'm gonna do it or whatever
[09:25] (Euthanasia44) Can you keep a seacret?
[09:26] (stbdchick) she is not genuinely suicidal, she is just depressed and hopeless
[09:26] (stbdchick) apparently, I can ;)
[09:26] (Euthanasia44) yes
[09:26] (stbdchick) you have MORE secrets for me?
[09:26] (Euthanasia44) (nick deleted) was the other woman I was going to eat
[09:26] (Euthanasia44) we were planning it for feb
[09:26] (Euthanasia44) She was the one that would put up the money
[09:27] (stbdchick) she may not be fresh by then if she did this last night
[09:27] (Euthanasia44) So if she did it now, I'm suprised
[09:27] (Euthanasia44) But she wanted a peaceful way
[09:27] (Euthanasia44) jumping is not so
[09:28] (stbdchick) waiting is not peaceful either
[09:28] (stbdchick) I dunno that I can stand this shit until February
[09:28] (Euthanasia44) Well, if she has not done it, don't tell her I told you
[09:28] (stbdchick) ok
[09:29] (Euthanasia44) But now with what you have said, not sure I should do her if she is still around
[09:29] (stbdchick) every day is full of more pain... waiting and waiting... it isn't peaceful either
[09:29] (Euthanasia44) If she wants help, I don't want to kill her
[09:30] (stbdchick) I don't think she is genuinely suicidal
[09:31] (Euthanasia44) So what do you think I should do if she has not done it?
[09:31] (stbdchick) probably leave her alone
[09:31] (stbdchick) the thing is... she wants to be talked out of it
[09:31] (Euthanasia44) hmmmmmm
[09:31] (stbdchick) I doubt someone talking to her about killing her is gonna make her feel better
[09:32] (stbdchick) she just knows you were gonna help, right? doesn't know anything else?
[09:32] (stbdchick) you aren't like telling people the stuff you tell me, are you?
[09:32] (Euthanasia44) she knows everything, she squeezed it out of me
[09:32] (Euthanasia44) She had no problem with my reasons
[09:33] (stbdchick) that is not good
[09:33] (stbdchick) you need to be much more discreet
[09:33] (Euthanasia44) as a matter of fact, she found it interesting
[09:33] (stbdchick) I do NOT wanna get rescued
[09:33] (Euthanasia44) Well, it sounds like you don't want to wait until Feb
[09:34] (stbdchick) no, it's entirely too hard
[09:34] (stbdchick) especially... dealing with ASH stuff anymore
[09:34] (stbdchick) like... people dying and all
[09:35] (stbdchick) and having to lie to everyone about my plans
[09:36] (Euthanasia44) So what do you have in mind?
[09:36] (Euthanasia44) thought you just wanted to disapear?
[09:36] (stbdchick) I do wanna disappear
[09:36] (stbdchick) but that means... pretending to be cheerful and such so no one knows I'm suicidal anymore
[09:36] (stbdchick) you got any idea how hard it is to pretend to my therapist?
[09:37] (Euthanasia44) I think it is best for your daughter if you did
[09:37] (stbdchick) or... (nick deleted)... here all weekend
[09:37] (stbdchick) to have to pretend to be OVER being suicidal
[09:37] (stbdchick) I mean... I can't even TAL:K about it anymore, have lost even the refuge that ASH was for me
[09:37] (Euthanasia44) how did it go with (nick deleted) anyhow?
[09:38] (stbdchick) it was OK
[09:39] (stbdchick) he is a nice guy
[09:39] (stbdchick) everyone on channel thinks we did outrageously perverse stuff all weekend
[09:39] (stbdchick) mostly, we hung out with my daughter and the cats and talked
[09:39] (Euthanasia44) I know, and it is funny
[09:39] (Euthanasia44) we had to give you guys a hard time
[09:39] (stbdchick) so... we're making silly comments in channel about bondage and stuff to tease everyone with
[09:40] (Euthanasia44) yes
[09:41] (Euthanasia44) So did you stop thinking about suicide over the weekend?
[09:41] (stbdchick) no
[09:41] (stbdchick) but ya know...
[09:42] (stbdchick) I am hiding my thoughts from *everyone* so it will look accidental
[09:42] (stbdchick) no one has any idea about my convo's with you
[09:42] (stbdchick) I find it perturbing that you are talking to other people about this
[09:42] (Euthanasia44) I hope not
[09:42] (stbdchick) I am afraid you'll tell the wrong person
[09:42] (stbdchick) this must be discreet
[09:42] (Euthanasia44) I have not said anything about you to anyone
[09:43] (stbdchick) yeah, but you have said stuff to people about killing them and about cannabalism
[09:43] (stbdchick) if you get busted, what the fuck am I gonna do? I'm counting on you here
[09:43] (Euthanasia44) Well, like with you, they squeezed it out
[09:43] (Euthanasia44) they had to keep after my reasons for doing it
[09:44] (Euthanasia44) I thought you did not want to wait for Feb?
[09:45] (Euthanasia44) So thought you had changed your mind about me?
[09:45] (stbdchick) changed my mind?
[09:45] (stbdchick) I don't wanna wait until Feb
[09:46] (Euthanasia44) Yes
[09:46] (stbdchick) but if you don't hafta wait for (nick deleted), why do we have to wait until feb?
[09:46] (Euthanasia44) Feb was the time I wanted to do it, not (nick deleted)
[09:46] (stbdchick) how many people have you talked to about this?
[09:47] (Euthanasia44) not many of corse
[09:47] (stbdchick) why feb? what's wrong with jan?
[09:48] (Euthanasia44) Now I will do this for you as well, I will come up with a way you could disapear without my help, not sure just how yet, but have an idea. So if anything went wrong, you have a back up plan
[09:49] (stbdchick) like... how about the second week of jan?
[09:50] (stbdchick) I mean, you work at home... why can't you take time off whenever you need to?
[09:50] (Euthanasia44) 1 problem, (nick deleted) was to finance this venture, I do not have enough myself
[09:51] (Euthanasia44) Do you have money saved?
[09:51] (stbdchick) I could cash in some of my 401K
[09:51] (stbdchick) but I dunno how suspicious that might be
[09:51] (stbdchick) I have little saved... my medical leave has been unpaid
[09:51] (Euthanasia44) no one would know it but you
[09:51] (stbdchick) well, the Benefits people at work would know
[09:51] (Euthanasia44) how much is it?
[09:51] (stbdchick) and they're the same folks who manage my life insurance
[09:52] (stbdchick) can't leave any clues that I might have done something dastric
[09:52] (stbdchick) tho... maybe I could use the excuse that I need $ because of the unpaid leave
[09:52] (stbdchick) they don't know I had enough savings
[09:52] (Euthanasia44) true
[09:53] (Euthanasia44) how much is it?
[09:53] (stbdchick) I'd hafta put in for the disbursement immediatly
[09:53] (stbdchick) total of $14K in there
[09:53] (stbdchick) but wouldn't need that much, couldn't really make an excuse for that much
[09:53] (Euthanasia44) how much could you get?
[09:53] (stbdchick) you have to have a need to take money out - it's a retirement plan
[09:54] (stbdchick) how much would the cabin cost for a week? and could we do it the second week of Jan?
[09:54] (stbdchick) I could probably get $3-4K without arousing suspicision
[09:54] (stbdchick) I was out a month
[09:54] (Euthanasia44) you think you could get 5 or 6?
[09:55] (stbdchick) I'm not sure... that's more than I take home in a month, it'd be harder to justify
[09:55] (Euthanasia44) I'm being selfish here, was going to come out with money over the costs with (nick deleted)
[09:55] (stbdchick) the thing is, Jan starts a new year, so I can take some vacation time right away without arousing suspicion
[09:56] (Euthanasia44) But you think you could get 4?
[09:56] (stbdchick) yes
[09:56] (Euthanasia44) I have to check dates available on the house
[09:56] (stbdchick) house?
[09:56] (stbdchick) thought it was a cabin
[09:56] (Euthanasia44) to rent
[09:57] (Euthanasia44) ]well, house on a river, or cabin on lake
[09:57] (stbdchick) I would feel more comfortable if you would cease talking to so many people about this
[09:57] (Euthanasia44) ]2 choices
[09:57] (stbdchick) also... how do you know you're not gonna get caught? I mean... do you know how to clean up afterwards so there's no evidence?
[09:58] (Euthanasia44) will be using a bathtub
[09:59] (stbdchick) but... well... when you dispose of leftovers... you can't leave traces of blood anywhere
[09:59] (stbdchick) are you sure you will not get caught? I mean... you are helping me here - I don't want you to get in trouble
[10:00] (Euthanasia44) believe me, I do think about that
[10:01] (stbdchick) you have it planned out properly?
[10:01] (Euthanasia44) And kind of feel bad that this is something you need to end your pain,and for me, it is my sexual perversion
[10:02] (stbdchick) the thing is... if you get caught, and they realize it was a suicide, my daughjter won't get my insurance
[10:02] (Euthanasia44) There are 2 places to do this, and things I'm checking out about both
[10:03] (stbdchick) what sort of things?
[10:03] (Euthanasia44) I like the house on the river better, but like the lake better ofr getting rid of what is left of you body
[10:03] (stbdchick) which did you use before?
[10:04] (Euthanasia44) Well, you assumed I had done this before, and I did not stop you from that, but truth is, this would be my first.
[10:04] (stbdchick) I find that disconcerting
[10:05] (stbdchick) I don't want this botched, for obvious reasons
[10:05] (Euthanasia44) I know that
[10:05] (Euthanasia44) and for me either
[10:05] (stbdchick) it has to be right
[10:05] (stbdchick) no one can know
[10:06] (stbdchick) death itself must be peaceful
[10:06] (Euthanasia44) I know
[10:06] (stbdchick) and there must be no evidence
[10:06] (Euthanasia44) yep
[10:06] (stbdchick) how do you know it takes a week to eat someone then?
[10:06] (stbdchick) and how do you know the leg and rump taste best?
[10:06] (stbdchick) how do *I* know that you're not full of it? maybe your REAL sexual fetish is talking to people about shocking things online
[10:07] (Euthanasia44) I have read it on the cannibal's anonmous
[10:07] (stbdchick) there is a cannibal's anonymous? online?
[10:07] (Euthanasia44) yes, with some of the true stories
[10:08] (stbdchick) how do you know you won't freak out at the last minute?
[10:08] (Euthanasia44) 1 who had had a 16 year old girl to eat
[10:08] (Euthanasia44) took 10 days to eat her all
[10:08] (stbdchick) I mean, how do you know you can go through with this?
[10:09] (stbdchick) I mean... I am starting to count on you here...
[10:10] (Euthanasia44) I would not be honest with you if I did not tell you that there are times when I get cold feet about it thinkin g that no matter how careful I am, someone will catch me, even by accedent.
[10:11] (Euthanasia44) getting cot in cannibalism would not be very nice for me
[10:11] (stbdchick) no, I can't imagine it would
[10:11] (Euthanasia44) I do desire it a lot
[10:11] (stbdchick) how do you know you can kill someone even? I mean, I doubt I could kill an animal...
[10:11] (Euthanasia44) and have thought and thought it out
[10:12] (Euthanasia44) the way I justified (nick deleted) was, if I did not do her, she would go splat
[10:12] (Euthanasia44) but she might have anyway
[10:13] (stbdchick) if you give me a knock-out pill, and I wake up afterwards, I would be very, very angry
[10:13] (Euthanasia44) I'm sure you would
[10:13] (stbdchick) I can't... commit to this endeavor, and get out there, and then survive
[10:14] (stbdchick) I mena, how would I be able to plan soon again after that?
[10:14] (Euthanasia44) You see, I have no desire to harm you at all, just desire for the sexual pleasures before and after as I eat you
[10:14] (Euthanasia44) I'm thinking of a backup
[10:16] (Euthanasia44) I know you can't go back
[10:17] (stbdchick) exactly
[10:19] (stbdchick) brb... need coffee
[10:19] (Euthanasia44) yep
[10:19] (Euthanasia44) me too
[10:21] (Euthanasia44) your up late
[10:21] (Euthanasia44) after 10 there
[10:25] (stbdchick) 10:25 AM
[10:25] (stbdchick) not exactly late
[10:25] (Euthanasia44) yep
[10:25] (stbdchick) been up for a while
[10:26] (Euthanasia44) So I guess you have ben thinking this over over the weekend? not usre if you were thinking about it
[10:27] (stbdchick) yup
[10:27] (Euthanasia44) my plans have changed a lot if (nick deleted) is not around anymore, need to regroup a bit in my mind
[10:27] (stbdchick) ok
[10:28] (stbdchick) I don't know if she is around anymore
[10:28] (stbdchick) I appreciate that you have not given my name to anyone
[10:28] (Euthanasia44) would never do that without your ok
[10:28] (stbdchick) but would appreciate it even more if you could keep convo's discreet about this topic for a bit
[10:28] (Euthanasia44) yes
[10:28] (stbdchick) also, do you have a link for that cannibal's anonymous thing?
[10:28] (stbdchick) I can read up a bit and see if I "get it"
[10:29] (Euthanasia44) just do a search for it
[10:29] (Euthanasia44) you will find it
[10:29] (stbdchick) will give us both some time to think things through a bit
[10:29] (stbdchick) ok
[10:29] (Euthanasia44) but the eating part you wont be around for
[10:30] (Euthanasia44) the part you would have to put up with is serving me sexually before your killed
[10:30] (stbdchick) blow jobs are not a big deal
[10:30] (stbdchick) but... if I understand your motivation better, may make me more comfortable
[10:31] (stbdchick) I am very leery... when we talk, it all seems real, but when I get offline, I start wondering if you're real, or if this is just some online game
[10:31] (Euthanasia44) I'm motivated by both, the sexual part leading up to it, and eating you after
[10:32] (Euthanasia44) me desire to do this is real, but I do have fears about it
[10:32] (Euthanasia44) I'm working on
[10:33] (Euthanasia44) have to have every detail worked out
[10:35] (Euthanasia44) are you searching for the web site?
[10:35] (stbdchick) I think the after is your primary motivator... after all, you didn't bring up the blow job thing until late in our convo
[10:36] (Euthanasia44) true
[10:36] (Euthanasia44) it is for sure
[10:36] (Euthanasia44) but both is together you might say
[10:36] (Euthanasia44) it is as 1
[10:37] (Euthanasia44) I can be selfish that way
[10:38] (Euthanasia44) they say suicidal people are selfish, guess so are thier bus drivers
[10:41] (Euthanasia44) what are you thinking?
[10:43] (stbdchick) there is channel stuff going on
[10:43] (stbdchick) I'm distracted
[10:43] (stbdchick) someone got banned and I'm trying to find out if they're one of us or a troll
[10:43] (stbdchick) being founder sucks sometimes
[10:43] (Euthanasia44) yes
[10:44] (stbdchick) sigh
[10:45] (stbdchick) I don't want to ever ban anyone who needs us
[10:45] (stbdchick) but I can't let anyone disrupt the channel
[10:45] (stbdchick) I nearly always have long convo's with anyone who gets banned
[10:45] (stbdchick) responsibility sucks sometimes
[10:45] (stbdchick) like... I am their mother
[10:45] (Euthanasia44) yes
[10:46] (Euthanasia44) Well mom, hahahhaa
[10:47] (stbdchick) it stops short of breast-feeding them tho
[10:47] (stbdchick) heh
[10:47] (stbdchick) so if you haven't done this before, how do you know you won't hate the taste?
[10:48] (Euthanasia44) I don't, why I wnat to do it
[10:48] (Euthanasia44) but I think it does taste like sweet pork
[10:53] (Euthanasia44) why they call it long pig
[10:54] (stbdchick) I'm not big on pork myself
[10:54] (stbdchick) except bacon and ham
[10:54] (stbdchick) but doubt you'll have time to smoke me ;)
[10:55] (Euthanasia44) probably not
[10:55] (stbdchick) when did you start fantasizing this stuff?
[10:55] (Euthanasia44) when I was very young had a thing about cannibalism
[10:56] (Euthanasia44) Had to come up with a way of doing it without doing murder
[10:56] (Euthanasia44) why I thought of suicidal women
[10:56] (Euthanasia44) trade
[10:57] (stbdchick) how young did you start fantasizing it?
[10:58] (Euthanasia44) well, young
[10:58] (Euthanasia44) but took different forms
[10:58] (stbdchick) <-started fantasizing about bdsm at age 3
[10:58] (stbdchick) <-long-term pervert
[10:58] (stbdchick) heh
[10:58] (Euthanasia44) yep
[10:58] (Euthanasia44) your giving yourself to a real perv
[10:59] (Euthanasia44) I think some desires your just born with
[11:01] (stbdchick) cannabalism is a much less accepted perversion than bdsm tho
[11:02] (Euthanasia44) Oh yes
[11:02] (stbdchick) not that bdsm is exactly acceptable either
[11:03] (Euthanasia44) So were both pervs
[11:05] (Euthanasia44) the ultimate dom of a woman is to eat her body
[11:06] (stbdchick) well...
[11:06] (stbdchick) not really
[11:06] (stbdchick) I wouldn't be a woman during the eating
[11:06] (stbdchick) just a corpse
[11:06] (Euthanasia44) a female body
[11:07] (stbdchick) I don't understand why the corpse ahs to be female
[11:07] (stbdchick) I understand that you're heterosexual
[11:08] (stbdchick) I just don't get it about the eating thing tho
[11:08] (Euthanasia44) the whole thing is sexual
[11:09] (stbdchick) yeah, but... I mean, does one eat the genitals?
[11:09] (Euthanasia44) very big turn on
[11:09] (Euthanasia44) legs, thighs, rump, breasts and maybe arms
[11:10] (stbdchick) then what difference does it make if the genitals are innies our outies?
[11:12] (Euthanasia44) got cut by the server
[11:12] (Euthanasia44) did you get cut too?
[11:13] (stbdchick) yes
[11:13] (Euthanasia44) Ya, I got cut too
[11:13] (Euthanasia44) the server droped me
[11:14] (stbdchick) yup... just got a disconnect message
[11:14] (Euthanasia44) yes, shutdown
[11:14] (Euthanasia44) I know your thoughts of this are not as exciting as mine
[11:14] (stbdchick) different kind of excitement
[11:14] (Euthanasia44) you look at it so different
[11:14] (stbdchick) I am excited that it will all be over soon
[11:15] (stbdchick) but... idea doesn't get me off at all
[11:17] (Euthanasia44) It sure turns me on
[11:17] (Euthanasia44) thinking about it
[11:18] (stbdchick) how do I know that you're for real tho? maybe... you just get turned on talking about it...
[11:19] (Euthanasia44) I do get turned on talking about it for sure
[11:19] (Euthanasia44) and thinking about it
[11:19] (Euthanasia44) it is all a matter of how sure I am of my plans to get a way with it
[11:20] (stbdchick) yes, much be must more complicated than arranging a whipping session. ;)
[11:22] (Euthanasia44) And of corse my fantasy of being with you will be defferent then reality, always is
[11:22] (stbdchick) yes, SM was very different than I had fantasized all those years
[11:23] (stbdchick) are you certain this is a fantasy you wish to turn into reality tho?
[11:23] (Euthanasia44) I have mixed feelings about it for sure, I have a strong desire to do it
[11:24] (Euthanasia44) But again, fantasy and reality
[11:24] (stbdchick) but are you sure?
[11:24] (stbdchick) especially... I mean, the before part... like can you actually kill someone?
[11:25] (Euthanasia44) that is the hardest part of the whole thing
[11:26] (Euthanasia44) doing it peaceful makes it eaiser
[11:27] (stbdchick) hve you ever killed anything before?
[11:28] (Euthanasia44) Yes, a gofer. hahhaha
[11:28] (stbdchick) how?
[11:30] (Euthanasia44) we put a hose down in the hole and fleshed it out, then I chopped it's head off with a hoo
[11:30] (stbdchick) a hoo?
[11:30] (stbdchick) and who was "we"
[11:30] (Euthanasia44) hool
[11:30] (stbdchick) hool?
[11:30] (stbdchick) what is a wool?
[11:31] (stbdchick) err hool even
[11:31] (Euthanasia44) the thing you make a trinch with
[11:31] (Euthanasia44) hol
[11:31] (stbdchick) oh, gotcha
[11:31] (stbdchick) well, did you feel bad about it? was it hard to do?
[11:31] (stbdchick) I've never killed anything but bugs
[11:32] (Euthanasia44) No, was very into getting it
[11:33] (stbdchick) I think I'd feel bad about killing any mammal, even if necessary
[11:33] (stbdchick) I think it'd be hard to do
[11:33] (Euthanasia44) but I'm very much against any kind of crulity to anamals
[11:33] (Euthanasia44) animals
[11:34] (Euthanasia44) I'm not a crual person at all
[11:34] (stbdchick) so... do you have a "normal" sex life in the real world?
[11:34] (Euthanasia44) hahahahahahah, what is normal?
[11:35] (Euthanasia44) I have a GF
[11:35] (stbdchick) well, eating dead bodies isn't normal, exactly
[11:35] (stbdchick) neither is whipping people tho
[11:35] (Euthanasia44) no
[11:36] (stbdchick) so does she know about this fantasy?
[11:36] (Euthanasia44) and leting someone eat you is not either
[11:36] (Euthanasia44) Nope
[11:36] (stbdchick) do you think about it when you're with her?
[11:36] (Euthanasia44) not eating her, but do think of it yes
[11:37] (stbdchick) you don't think about eating her? you think of eating others?
[11:37] (Euthanasia44) how normal is it for you to serve me sexually knowing I'm going to kill and eat you? what is normal anymore?
[11:38] (stbdchick) I'm perfectly normal for a suicidal, perverted, bisexual chick ;)
[11:39] (Euthanasia44) hahhaha
[11:40] (stbdchick) so you don't think of eating your gf?
[11:41] (Euthanasia44) I have thought a lot about you over the weekend, but of corse could not talk to you
[11:41] (stbdchick) what have you thought about me?
[11:42] (stbdchick) http://www.canniballovers.com/
[11:42] (Euthanasia44) well, the sexual part before as well as the eating of you after
[11:42] (stbdchick) it's a silly site tho, not seriously about cannibals
[11:42] (stbdchick) hmmm... fantasizing the blow job?
[11:43] (Euthanasia44) Oh ok
[11:43] (Euthanasia44) yep
[11:43] (Euthanasia44) how you will do it
[11:43] (Euthanasia44) and if 1 day will be enough
[11:43] (stbdchick) lol!
[11:43] (stbdchick) getting greedy, are you?
[11:44] (Euthanasia44) I told you, selfish
[11:44] (stbdchick) I warn you - I will not have a very strong sex drive when I arrive
[11:44] (stbdchick) have barely had one for months now
[11:44] (Euthanasia44) do you have to have a drive to suck me?
[11:44] (stbdchick) whenever I read how certain SSRI's effect sex drive, I think, "if these people are depressed, how could they TELL?"
[11:45] (stbdchick) I don't need much drive for that
[11:45] (stbdchick) <-is technically competent
[11:45] (stbdchick) but... I'm not gonna be way into it or anything
[11:45] (stbdchick) I cna't even remember last time I cared about sex
[11:45] (stbdchick) my hottest fantasies have done nothing for me... not for months
[11:45] (stbdchick) can't even wack off
[11:46] (stbdchick) is ahrd to search for cannibal... there's apparently a band, a musical... all sorts of shit
[11:46] (Euthanasia44) yep
[11:47] (stbdchick) articles about Jeffrey Dahmer
[11:47] (Euthanasia44) so how do you feel about my wanting more then 1 day of you sucking me?
[11:47] (stbdchick) I dunno how into that I can get, seriously...
[11:48] (stbdchick) is hard to be motivated to do a good job when not horny
[11:48] (stbdchick) but may depend too
[11:48] (Euthanasia44) I see
[11:48] (stbdchick) sometimes I get motivated when I care for someone a lot
[11:48] (stbdchick) and as we talk, and you share things with me, I start to feel clsoe to you
[11:48] (Euthanasia44) yes
[11:48] (stbdchick) tho... realistically speaking... I also get scared that you're just fucking around with me online
[11:49] (Euthanasia44) I told you before I do like you
[11:49] (Euthanasia44) I also told you that I would have rather you wanted to live then do this
[11:50] (stbdchick) so how the hell do I find actual stuff about cannibalism online? this search is giving me useless hits
[11:50] (Euthanasia44) I'm trying to be as honest with you as I can
[11:50] (stbdchick) cannibal vampire girls from outer space
[11:50] (stbdchick) doesn't sound exactly serious
[11:50] (Euthanasia44) oh shit
[11:50] (Euthanasia44) I will find it later and email you the address
[11:52] (stbdchick) GUESS WHO'S COMMING FOR DINNER?...
[11:52] (stbdchick) bahahahahahah!
[11:52] (Euthanasia44) hmmmmm
[11:52] (stbdchick) there's some damned weird shit online
[11:52] (Euthanasia44) yes
[11:52] (Euthanasia44) when was the last time you sucked someone?
[11:53] (stbdchick) few weeks ago, wehn I was in Boston
[11:53] (stbdchick) my best friend
[11:53] (Euthanasia44) oh ok
[11:53] (stbdchick) he... got kinda drunk... and hysterical about me being suicidal
[11:53] (Euthanasia44) did you do it just for his pleasure?
[11:53] (stbdchick) I wasn't into being touched, was weird
[11:53] (stbdchick) yup
[11:54] (stbdchick) luckily, he passed out before we got to fucking
[11:54] (Euthanasia44) hahhah
[11:54] (stbdchick) you know, all these stories I'm finding, these people are serial killers
[11:54] (Euthanasia44) would you have fucked if he wanted you too?
[11:54] (stbdchick) like... seriously nasty shit... not like you
[11:54] (stbdchick) yeah, I would've fucked if he hadn't gone to sleep
[11:54] (stbdchick) I was trying to comfort him
[11:55] (stbdchick) he's been my best friend for 10 years
[11:55] (Euthanasia44) well, sucking him was a good way to do that
[11:55] (stbdchick) I was trying to... postpone being sexual... cause being touched emotionally hurts
[11:55] (stbdchick) and we've been so clsoe before
[11:55] (stbdchick) I couldn't handle it
[11:55] (stbdchick) nor his hysteria
[11:55] (stbdchick) I love him a lot, he's a good guy, been a good friend a long time
[11:56] (Euthanasia44) he colmed down when you sucked him however i'm sure
[11:57] (stbdchick) this one story isn't about serial killers... about a grave robber instead
[11:57] (Euthanasia44) I want fresh meat
[11:58] (Euthanasia44) was sucking him your idea?
[11:59] (stbdchick) not really
[11:59] (stbdchick) he was all over me all evening
[11:59] (Euthanasia44) Oh ok, hahhah
[11:59] (stbdchick) I was postponing
[11:59] (stbdchick) finally I gave up
[11:59] (stbdchick) this web site is weird
[11:59] (stbdchick) http://www.mayhem.net/Crime/cannibals1.html
[12:00] (Euthanasia44) ok
[12:01] (Euthanasia44) let me ask you, know you have ben thinking about this too, I have ben thinking about you sucking me, but have you ben thinking about that part of it too? or just the death art?
[12:02] (stbdchick) mostly, I have been thinking about cannabalism
[12:02] (stbdchick) that is... the new bit for me
[12:02] (Euthanasia44) hahahha
[12:02] (stbdchick) blow jobs aren't new, neither is the idea of suicide, nor the idea of wanting to get the insurance money for my kid
[12:02] (Euthanasia44) but being dinner is new, hahahah
[12:04] (stbdchick) heh... yeah
[12:04] (stbdchick) and usually when a guy says he wants to eat me, it has an entirely different meaning
[12:04] (stbdchick) ;)
[12:04] (Euthanasia44) yep
[12:05] (Euthanasia44) we have a spceial dinner date for sure
[12:05] (Euthanasia44) special
[12:05] (stbdchick) that's why I was curious about your gf
[12:05] (stbdchick) I dunno tht I'd be real comfortable having someone go down on me who had cannibal fantasies
[12:06] (stbdchick) also, I like being bit fairly hard, like hard enough to leave bruises...
[12:06] (stbdchick) but... I would not be comfortable doing that with a cannibal either
[12:06] (stbdchick) heh
[12:06] (Euthanasia44) I will chew you up and swallow you, hahha
[12:07] (Euthanasia44) how would you feel if I wanted to suck your breasts before?
[12:07] (stbdchick) have a very different feel if you were to nibble my ear or necks than anopther guy... heh
[12:07] (stbdchick) I dunno
[12:08] (stbdchick) I have a hard time understanding that this is sexual for you
[12:08] (stbdchick) sucking my breats is definetly sexual
[12:08] (stbdchick) heh
[12:08] (Euthanasia44) I would be thinking about eating them for sure
[12:09] (Euthanasia44) and licking your legs too with the same thought, kind of knowing the taste before and after I guess, hhahaa
[12:09] (stbdchick) I'll have to think about that
[12:09] (stbdchick) I'm not sure how comfortable I'd be with it
[12:09] (Euthanasia44) your dinner
[12:09] (stbdchick) maybe after I think and read more
[12:11] (Euthanasia44) I would have to feel your legs and breasts and taste them before, it turns me on so much thinking of it. So think about it
[12:11] (stbdchick) and you think about bumping things up to January
[12:12] (stbdchick) and being more discreet with the rest of the ASHers
[12:12] (Euthanasia44) Ok
[12:12] (Euthanasia44) will think about it
[12:12] (stbdchick) find out about $ too... how much cabin will cost
[12:13] (Euthanasia44) I would like to rent the cabin for 2 weeks
[12:15] (Euthanasia44) gives me lots of time
[12:15] (stbdchick) why 2 weeks?
[12:15] (stbdchick) thot the 2 weeks was for me and (nick deleted)
[12:15] (stbdchick) if it's just me...
[12:16] (Euthanasia44) I'm hoping to get you to serve me sexually for maybe 4 or 5 days first
[12:16] (Euthanasia44) I should enjoy you as much as possible first
[12:17] (Euthanasia44) I know, selfish
[12:18] (stbdchick) you are greedy!!!
[12:18] (stbdchick) heh
[12:18] (Euthanasia44) I know
[12:18] (Euthanasia44) I admit it
[12:19] (Euthanasia44) you can say no, and not go through with it
[12:19] (stbdchick) you will have to find me that url so I can read more... maybe get into the headspace a bit
[12:19] (stbdchick) cause... the stuff I am reading... is all pretty much serial killers and stuff
[12:20] (stbdchick) stopries about people sodomizing 8 yr old girls as they die doesn't allow me to "Get it"
[12:20] (Euthanasia44) that is nothing like me
[12:20] (Euthanasia44) Hey, got something for you
[12:20] (Euthanasia44) you want to read my faverate cannibal story, fiction
[12:21] (stbdchick) yes
[12:21] (Euthanasia44) I will find it and email it to you
[12:21] (Euthanasia44) or
[12:21] (Euthanasia44) if you can find white shadows nasty stories
[12:21] (Euthanasia44) it is on there
[12:21] (Euthanasia44) called the weekend
[12:21] (stbdchick) I'll search for it
[12:22] (Euthanasia44) but don't missunderstand the way they kill her, not me
[12:22] (stbdchick) ok
[12:22] (Euthanasia44) it is the whole consept
[12:24] (stbdchick) found the website - looking for the story now
[12:24] (Euthanasia44) good
[12:26] (Euthanasia44) The Weekend
[12:26] (stbdchick) I'm not finding that story
[12:26] (Euthanasia44) there are differnt catagories
[12:27] (Euthanasia44) there is one with a lot of cannibal stories in it
[12:27] (stbdchick) yeah, but this isn't bdsm or incest or zoophilia, so I went to the general category
[12:27] (stbdchick) not that this is exactly general
[12:27] (Euthanasia44) general story room I think, but has ben a long time
[12:27] (stbdchick) but there's not a cannabil section...
[12:27] (Euthanasia44) No,
[12:28] (Euthanasia44) but the story should be there
[12:28] (stbdchick) I'm looking around
[12:28] (Euthanasia44) eek
[12:29] (stbdchick) I was in erotic story room, now am going in general
[12:32] (stbdchick) got knocked offline
[12:32] (stbdchick) only thing I see is: Weekend by Cindy (Exhibitionism, Hetero sex, Gangbang) updated 6/20/99
[12:32] (Euthanasia44) ooops
[12:32] (stbdchick) which doesn't sound like it
[12:32] (Euthanasia44) no
[12:32] (Euthanasia44) called The weekend
[12:32] (Euthanasia44) you might find it by searching for the story title
[12:33] (Euthanasia44) but it is in white showdows room I know
[12:33] (Euthanasia44) don't know why it would have ben removed
[12:33] (stbdchick) I'm searching again
[12:33] (stbdchick) "white shadow nasty stories" and "the weekend"
[12:34] (Euthanasia44) yes
[12:34] (stbdchick) Weekend by Cindy (Exhibitionism, Hetero sex, Gangbang) updated 6/20/99
[12:35] (stbdchick) oops
[12:35] (Euthanasia44) nope
[12:35] (stbdchick) Your search - "white shadows nasty stories" "the weekend" - did not match any documents.
[12:35] (Euthanasia44) hmmm
[12:35] (stbdchick) you got a copy of the story?
[12:35] (Euthanasia44) try just The weekend
[12:35] (Euthanasia44) other sites hav it
[12:35] (Euthanasia44) No, I looked
[12:36] (Euthanasia44) I think I just read it online
[12:36] (stbdchick) Searched English pages for "the weekend". Results 1 - 30 of about 1,950,000. Search took 0.56 seconds.
[12:36] (stbdchick) too many hits
[12:38] (Euthanasia44) try cannibal stories
[12:38] (Euthanasia44) just forget it, I will try to find it late
[12:38] (Euthanasia44) later
[12:38] (stbdchick) I tried several seraches
[12:38] (stbdchick) am now looking for white shadow nasty cannibal
[12:39] (Euthanasia44) ok
[12:39] (stbdchick) still got 677 hits
[12:39] (Euthanasia44) hmmmmmm
[12:39] (stbdchick) how many damned pages on the net have the word cannibal in them?
[12:39] (stbdchick) like is this some big thing I never knew about?
[12:40] (stbdchick) jeez
[12:40] (Euthanasia44) more then you would think
[12:41] (stbdchick) I've got the list down to 285 hits, but this is sitll too many
[12:41] (Euthanasia44) yes
[12:41] (stbdchick) ah ha!
[12:42] (stbdchick) got it down to 4 hits with "white shadow nasty stories" cannibal
[12:42] (Euthanasia44) found it?
[12:42] (Euthanasia44) Oh ok
[12:42] (stbdchick) "tasty Young Coeds" - lol!
[12:42] (Euthanasia44) hahhah
[12:43] (Euthanasia44) what a minute
[12:43] (stbdchick) a realm of hell
[12:43] (Euthanasia44) it could be called A weekend in the country
[12:43] (stbdchick) baia's fate
[12:43] (stbdchick) casa delecta
[12:43] (Euthanasia44) that is about a girl that gets cot by cannibal tribe and cooked alive in a pot
[12:43] (stbdchick) dinner date
[12:44] (stbdchick) dr. delhi
[12:44] (stbdchick) female cannibal
[12:44] (Euthanasia44) I have talke dto hundreds of woman that said they wanted to be eaten, but they don't want to die for it
[12:45] (Euthanasia44) Dolcett is very big with woman
[12:45] (stbdchick) really? I'd not have guessed it to be that hot of a fantasy
[12:45] (stbdchick) Dolceet makes some hot cartoons
[12:45] (Euthanasia44) they love the thought of being spitted alive and cooked alive
[12:47] (stbdchick) what you need is... instead of just women who find the idea hot... or women who are suicidal... is women who are suicidal AND find the idea hot
[12:47] (Euthanasia44) I have tried
[12:47] (Euthanasia44) I have ben at this for over a year
[12:48] (stbdchick) ok, that is all the stories I can find, can't find your story
[12:48] (Euthanasia44) I have to just have sicidal
[12:48] (stbdchick) I give up
[12:48] (Euthanasia44) Ok
[12:48] (stbdchick) if you run across the link, send it to me later
[12:48] (Euthanasia44) hahaha
[12:48] (Euthanasia44) I will find it for you
[12:48] (Euthanasia44) yes
[12:48] (stbdchick) you have been chatting with suicidal chicks about eating them for over a year?
[12:48] (Euthanasia44) sorry this is so tough for you
[12:49] (Euthanasia44) No
[12:49] (Euthanasia44) women that want to be eaten
[12:49] (Euthanasia44) in the #snuffsex channels
[12:49] (stbdchick) how long have you been talking to suicidal chicks?
[12:49] (Euthanasia44) and #dolcett
[12:49] (Euthanasia44) and #canniballand
[12:50] (stbdchick) I wouldn't have imagined there were so many spots for cannibals to get dates ;)
[12:50] (Euthanasia44) I tried through email with ASH and methods, but found most did not want help in killing themselves, just a easy methond thay could do themselves
[12:51] (Euthanasia44) Undernet has a snuffsex too
[12:51] (Euthanasia44) I thought there would be more demand for assisted suicide since it is so hard for someone to do it on their own
[12:52] (stbdchick) but do you tell the suicidal that you're a cannibal? seems like that'd scare them off
[12:53] (Euthanasia44) that is why I did not want to tell you, but like you, they get very sespeshis
[12:53] (Euthanasia44) they want to know what I get out of it, and I try to get away with money, or need to help people and so on
[12:55] (stbdchick) you need a better cover story
[12:55] (stbdchick) how many people have you told?
[12:55] (Euthanasia44) true
[12:56] (Euthanasia44) I know your having a problem with my desires
[12:56] (Euthanasia44) sorry about that
[12:56] (stbdchick) how many people have you told?
[12:57] (Euthanasia44) why?
[12:57] (stbdchick) I dunno that I have a problem with the cannabalism part
[12:57] (stbdchick) cause it makes me nervous that you've told people
[12:57] (stbdchick) cause I will be dead then
[12:57] (Euthanasia44) other then you and (nick deleted), just one other, and she liked the idea, but has decided to stick around longer
[12:57] (stbdchick) that it is sexual for you, and that you are therefore interested in "playing with your food" ahead of time is weirder
[12:58] (stbdchick) ok
[12:58] (stbdchick) 3 is not so bad
[12:58] (Euthanasia44) no
[12:58] (stbdchick) cause... every person you tell increases the risk for you... and therefore for me
[12:58] (Euthanasia44) playing with the food is such a turn on knowing I'm going to eat her
[12:58] (stbdchick) how many have you offered to kill without telling them about the cannabalism?
[12:59] (Euthanasia44) Well, just a few, but they did not meet my requirments you might say
[12:59] (Euthanasia44) so never reall made a deal with them
[12:59] (Euthanasia44) but talked aobut assisted suicide
[13:00] (Euthanasia44) and the most painles options
[13:00] (stbdchick) about how many is a few?
[13:00] (stbdchick) approximately
[13:00] (Euthanasia44) a few
[13:00] (stbdchick) 5? 10? 15?
[13:00] (Euthanasia44) 2
[13:01] (Euthanasia44) If you are bothered by this
[13:02] (Euthanasia44) I have to feel them out to see what they need
[13:02] (stbdchick) I'm concerned
[13:02] (stbdchick) I do not wish to get caught
[13:02] (Euthanasia44) you will be dead
[13:03] (stbdchick) yeah, but I'm not dead yet
[13:03] (Euthanasia44) Well, you don't have to do it for sure, can choose another way
[13:03] (stbdchick) Specialists say that the taste of "people meat" is a specific one, and has a distinctive smell when it's cooked. "The taste of a victim," it is asserted, in full seriousness, at the Main Criminal Investigations Administration of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, "depends on the victim himself: if he drank or smoked a lot, whether he liked sweets or salt..."
[13:03] (stbdchick) I smoke a shitload of cigarettes, by the way
[13:04] (Euthanasia44) hmmmm
[13:04] (stbdchick) yeah, but I want a way where I'm not a known suicide, that is the whole point
[13:04] (Euthanasia44) I used too as well
[13:05] (stbdchick) well, then you'll already be accustomed to the cigarette taste
[13:05] (stbdchick) heh
[13:05] (Euthanasia44) hahahah
[13:06] (stbdchick) I hafta run... it's 1 here
[13:06] (stbdchick) have to make a phone call and then go see my therapist
[13:06] (Euthanasia44) you will smoke less if your sucking my penis instead, hahhhaahaha
[13:06] (stbdchick) talk at you later
Session Close: Thu Dec 14 13:06:26 2000

Session Start: Thu Dec 14 13:06:30 2000


[13:06] Session Ident: Euthanasia44 (IP deleted)
[13:06] (Euthanasia44) of corse
Session Close: Thu Dec 14 13:06:42 2000

Session Start: Thu Dec 14 13:06:43 2000


[13:06] Session Ident: Euthanasia44 (IP deleted)
[13:06] (Euthanasia44) bye for now
[13:06] (stbdchick) bye
Session Close: Thu Dec 14 13:06:49 2000

Session Start: Thu Dec 14 17:23:01 2000


[17:23] Session Ident: Euthanasia44 (IP deleted)
[17:23] (Euthanasia44) hey, get my message?
[17:23] (stbdchick) no, haven't checked email
[17:23] (Euthanasia44) Well, theres (nick deleted) too
[17:24] (stbdchick) yes, I
[17:24] (stbdchick) 'm chatting with her
[17:24] (stbdchick) one sec... let me look at mail
[17:25] (Euthanasia44) as you can see, she is fine
[17:25] (Euthanasia44) have talke twice with her
[17:26] (Euthanasia44) told her I saw her post and was owrried she junpme
[17:26] (Euthanasia44) yep, do not say anything to her please
[17:28] (stbdchick) I won't
[17:28] (stbdchick) hotmail is slow today
[17:29] (Euthanasia44) ok, thanks
[17:30] (Euthanasia44) She still wants to go through with our plans
[17:31] (Euthanasia44) I told her I got the feeling she might want help from her postings, and she said no.
[17:33] (stbdchick) I am talking to her now
Session Close: Thu Dec 14 17:35:46 2000

Session Start: Thu Dec 14 18:46:00 2000


[18:46] Session Ident: Euthanasia44 (IP deleted)
[18:46] (Euthanasia44) well?
[18:46] (stbdchick) she had to leave to go pick up her kids from school
[18:46] (Euthanasia44) but how did it go?
[18:47] (Euthanasia44) you mst have talked some
[18:47] (stbdchick) yes, we did
[18:47] (stbdchick) she is very depressed
[18:47] (Euthanasia44) something I do need to tell you
[18:47] (stbdchick) a lot of pain
[18:47] (stbdchick) ok
[18:48] (Euthanasia44) (nick deleted) talked to me PM
[18:48] (stbdchick) what did you talk about?
[18:48] (Euthanasia44) he said he thinks your not doing very well. Thinks your putting on a front
[18:48] (Euthanasia44) do not tell him I said that, but you need to know
[18:49] (stbdchick) I thought I was covering well
[18:49] (stbdchick) my therapist thinks I'm ok
[18:49] (Euthanasia44) he is conserned
[18:49] (Euthanasia44) Well, you can't foolyour own kind
[18:50] (Euthanasia44) (nick deleted) was right
[18:50] (Euthanasia44) he picked up on it
[18:50] (stbdchick) good thing (nick deleted) can't get me committed
[18:50] (Euthanasia44) So any progress with (nick deleted)?
[18:50] (stbdchick) heh
[18:50] (stbdchick) I dunno
[18:50] (Euthanasia44) true
[18:50] (stbdchick) am trying to talk her into seeing a different therapist
[18:50] (Euthanasia44) but he hs the same problem
[18:51] (stbdchick) who has the same problem?
[18:51] (Euthanasia44) it seems she is sharing more with you then me
[18:51] (Euthanasia44) (nick deleted), some day he wants to check out
[18:52] (Euthanasia44) catch the bus
[18:52] (stbdchick) what did he say about checking out?
[18:52] (stbdchick) I thot he was over that
[18:52] (Euthanasia44) nothing you don't know
[18:52] (Euthanasia44) just saying
[18:52] (stbdchick) no, he was real close a while back...
[18:52] (stbdchick) shit
[18:52] (Euthanasia44) he has always indicated he wanted to catch the bus
[18:52] (stbdchick) I like have multiple personality or something
[18:53] (stbdchick) I want to die, but I don't want anyone else to
[18:53] (Euthanasia44) Ya, I noticed
[18:53] (Euthanasia44) how important is it that your daughter get the insurance money?
[18:53] (stbdchick) it depends
[18:53] (stbdchick) see, when things are really black for me, I don't care anymore
[18:54] (stbdchick) but realistically, she has no father
[18:54] (stbdchick) she only has me
[18:54] (Euthanasia44) if you disapear, it will take year for her to get it
[18:54] (Euthanasia44) years
[18:54] (Euthanasia44) like about 7 to 10
[18:54] (stbdchick) that long?
[18:54] (stbdchick) I thot maybe 1 or 2
[18:54] (Euthanasia44) No
[18:55] (Euthanasia44) they have to find you dead, and that takes many years
[18:55] (Euthanasia44) before a court can rule
[18:55] (Euthanasia44) I did come up with another way that would work
[18:55] (stbdchick) which is?
[18:55] (Euthanasia44) and she would have no problem getting the money
[18:55] (Euthanasia44) but you wont like it think
[18:56] (stbdchick) ?
[18:56] (Euthanasia44) it will sound worse then it would be
[18:56] (stbdchick) ok, well... tell me
[18:56] (Euthanasia44) ok
[18:57] (Euthanasia44) you would travel to the jungles of India as a tourest
[18:57] (Euthanasia44) 2 ways for you to die there looking like your just a stupid american
[18:57] (Euthanasia44) take your camra and look like a tourest and take pictures and the whole bit
[18:58] (Euthanasia44) Get lost at some pint in the jungle, they have the man eating Bengal Tiger that would kill you so fast you would not know what hit you
[18:58] (Euthanasia44) and your daughter gets the insurance
[18:59] (stbdchick) I dunno how certain that is
[18:59] (Euthanasia44) the second way to die in the jungle is not as fast and plesent
[18:59] (Euthanasia44) The King Cobra
[19:00] (Euthanasia44) I thought it wa not painful, but I just read up on it, and that is not quite trub
[19:00] (Euthanasia44) true
[19:00] (Euthanasia44) looks like an accedent
[19:00] (Euthanasia44) not suicide
[19:00] (stbdchick) hmmm...
[19:00] (Euthanasia44) your not saying anything, hahhaha
[19:00] (stbdchick) I will have to look into it
[19:01] (Euthanasia44) it can be very certian
[19:01] (stbdchick) I'm not sure what the odds are that I'd find a Bengal tiger or king cobra
[19:01] (Euthanasia44) I have seen programs on it
[19:01] (Euthanasia44) the tigers there have become man eaters
[19:01] (Euthanasia44) and if you went in the jungle at night, it is a sure thing
[19:02] (Euthanasia44) think about it
[19:02] (Euthanasia44) there is lots of pages on jungle lodges on the web in India
[19:02] (stbdchick) I'll look into it
[19:03] (Euthanasia44) you have to go in the jungle with your camra around your nick like a stupid tourest
[19:03] (Euthanasia44) on your own
[19:03] (Euthanasia44) Not saying I wont help you, but this is something you need to think about
[19:04] (Euthanasia44) if you want her to get your insurance
[19:04] (Euthanasia44) I know it sounds bad, but really is not
[19:04] (Euthanasia44) if you get the tiger, you wont know it
[19:04] (stbdchick) I dunno, being eaten by a tiger sounds bad to me
[19:05] (stbdchick) I doubt he'd make sure it was painless for me
[19:05] (Euthanasia44) a 400 lbs bengal tiger would knock you out so fast
[19:05] (Euthanasia44) you would not know it
[19:05] (Euthanasia44) they jump you and knock you out, or kill you with 1 blow
[19:05] (stbdchick) how does a tiger kill his prey?
[19:06] (Euthanasia44) even a mountain lion here can do that
[19:06] (Euthanasia44) that only is around 150 lbs
[19:06] (Euthanasia44) a 400 lbs tiger could kill you when your hit
[19:07] (stbdchick) yeah, but how? rip out the throat? what?
[19:07] (Euthanasia44) they jump you
[19:07] (Euthanasia44) not sure
[19:08] (Euthanasia44) but the force kills you from what I remember
[19:08] (stbdchick) I'll look into it
[19:08] (Euthanasia44) very quick
[19:09] (Euthanasia44) tigers like to hunt at night
[19:09] (Euthanasia44) why I said to go in the jungle at night
[19:10] (stbdchick) yeah, but what are the odds that I'd be attacked? jungles are not like wall-to-wall tigers
[19:10] (Euthanasia44) this is also true in africa
[19:10] (Euthanasia44) a friend of mine was there
[19:10] (Euthanasia44) she stayed in huts
[19:10] (Euthanasia44) and the signs told people not to go out of them at night
[19:10] (Euthanasia44) because of the tigers
[19:11] (Euthanasia44) now in Indea, a cobra is easy to find
[19:11] (Euthanasia44) they are all over the place
[19:11] (Euthanasia44) 10s of thousands are killed every year by cobras
[19:12] (Euthanasia44) you have to know where to find tigers, and there are places you can find them for sure
[19:12] (Euthanasia44) and even locations where there are the most man eatint tigers as well
[19:12] (stbdchick) I'll look into it
[19:13] (Euthanasia44) on the show, one of the party was behind the film ccrew, and when they went back to find him, there was just blood, no body
[19:13] (Euthanasia44) I can tell your not trilled with my idea
[19:13] (Euthanasia44) sorry
[19:14] (stbdchick) I need to know things
[19:14] (Euthanasia44) but a way of getting what you want
[19:14] (stbdchick) about pain... and the odds
[19:15] (Euthanasia44) yes
[19:15] (Euthanasia44) I really dont think there would be pain with the tiger, but with the cobra, yes
[19:15] (Euthanasia44) I read up on cobra bites and how to treat them
[19:15] (Euthanasia44) and simpthims
[19:16] (Euthanasia44) that is how Cleopatra killed herself
[19:16] (stbdchick) yeah, I remember that
[19:16] (Euthanasia44) an Asp, wich is an Egyptian cobra
[19:17] (Euthanasia44) a king cobra is the largest posiness snake in the world
[19:17] (Euthanasia44) can get to be 18 feet
[19:17] (Euthanasia44) it always hisses just before striking
[19:18] (Euthanasia44) people step on them in India all the time
[19:18] (Euthanasia44) in the fields
[19:18] (stbdchick) it just seems rather far-fetched
[19:18] (Euthanasia44) not at all
[19:18] (Euthanasia44) not if you really want it to be not questioned
[19:19] (Euthanasia44) an act of god more or lesss
[19:19] (Euthanasia44) they would just think your stupid
[19:19] (Euthanasia44) for going into the jungle alone
[19:20] (Euthanasia44) Now I might come up with other ways if you really want me to go back to the black board, hahhahaha
[19:20] (stbdchick) heh
[19:21] (stbdchick) methods is easy, it's accidental methods that's difficult
[19:21] (Euthanasia44) well, admit that one will work
[19:21] (Euthanasia44) you could tell everyone your going to Indea to get away and have a vacation
[19:22] (stbdchick) it might work, depends on the odds of really meeting a tiger or snake
[19:22] (Euthanasia44) take your camra dn just be a happy tourest
[19:22] (Euthanasia44) I can promis you you will find a cobra, and a tiger is a very good possiblity as well depending on wich part of Indea
[19:23] (Euthanasia44) 1 of the problems
[19:23] (stbdchick) I will look into it
[19:23] (Euthanasia44) the Bengal tiger is being hunted into extension
[19:24] (Euthanasia44) what the population is now I don't know
[19:24] (Euthanasia44) when I saw the program, they thought there might be over 400 man eaters in this one area of jungle
[19:25] (Euthanasia44) they become man eaters when they have natral disasters and people are killed and washed down the water ways, the tigers find the bodies and get acustum to human meat and become not afraid anymore of humans
[19:26] (Euthanasia44) No one could say you wanted to be eaten by a tiger
[19:26] (Euthanasia44) your daughter would get the money
[19:26] (stbdchick) heh
[19:27] (stbdchick) no one would believe I wanted to be eaten by you either
[19:27] (stbdchick) now that you mention it
[19:27] (Euthanasia44) hahhahaha
[19:27] (Euthanasia44) and she would getthe money if I was cot
[19:27] (Euthanasia44) eating you that is
[19:28] (Euthanasia44) but I wont leave a body
[19:28] (Euthanasia44) so, long time for her
[19:29] (Euthanasia44) This is why I ask you how important that is too you
[19:29] (stbdchick) I have to think about it
[19:31] (Euthanasia44) there are no easy answers are there?
[19:31] (stbdchick) the easy answer would have never to be born
[19:31] (stbdchick) but it's a little late for that
[19:32] (Euthanasia44) I will try to think of other ways as well, but that one would work for sure
[19:35] (Euthanasia44) you might have to settle for MY dinner table after all
[19:36] (stbdchick) I have to think it all through
[19:36] (stbdchick) it's just... thinking is hard sometimes... there's a fog, ya know?
[19:36] (Euthanasia44) I do understand for sure
[19:37] (Euthanasia44) and I'm really trying to help
[19:37] (Euthanasia44) and be honest with you
[19:37] (stbdchick) I know
[19:39] (Euthanasia44) bbl, got to go eat
[19:39] (stbdchick) take care
Session Close: Thu Dec 14 19:39:47 2000

Session Start: Thu Dec 14 19:39:53 2000


[19:39] Session Ident: Euthanasia44 (IP deleted)
[19:39] (Euthanasia44) wish it was you I was eating, hahhaaha
Session Close: Thu Dec 14 19:39:59 2000

Session Start: Thu Dec 14 19:40:29 2000


[19:40] Session Ident: Euthanasia44 (IP deleted)
[19:40] (Euthanasia44) bye
[19:41] (stbdchick) bye
Session Close: Thu Dec 14 19:41:30 2000

Session Start: Thu Dec 14 20:00:47 2000


[20:00] Session Ident: Euthanasia44 (IP deleted)
[20:00] (Euthanasia44) Hi delicious, back.
[20:01] (stbdchick) re
[20:02] (Euthanasia44) if life is tought, dieing is not so easy either ha?
[20:02] * stbdchick sighs.
[20:02] (stbdchick) no, it isn't
[20:03] (Euthanasia44) what are you thinking?
[20:03] (Euthanasia44) want to know what is going through your mind about your options?
[20:03] (stbdchick) I am not thinking about it now
[20:04] (Euthanasia44) Oh ok
[20:04] (stbdchick) am in channel, plus chatting with a suicidal chick
[20:04] (Euthanasia44) your thinking about someone elses problems I'll bet
[20:04] (Euthanasia44) I knew it
Session Close: Thu Dec 14 20:21:08 2000

Session Start: Thu Dec 14 21:33:25 2000


[21:33] Session Ident: Euthanasia44 (IP deleted)
[21:33] (Euthanasia44) Hey, need to talk
[21:34] (stbdchick) ok, but hafta leave in 1 minute
[21:34] (stbdchick) kid's friend needs a ride home
[21:34] (stbdchick) tomorrow?
Session Close: Thu Dec 14 21:34:10 2000

Session Start: Thu Dec 14 21:34:40 2000


[21:34] Session Ident: Euthanasia44 (IP deleted)
[21:34] (Euthanasia44) (nick deleted) really wants to do our plan as much as you might not like it, she does want this
[21:35] (Euthanasia44) she gave me the ok to tell any of the other women her name and it is ok to talk to her about it
[21:35] (Euthanasia44) she is serious
[21:36] (stbdchick) ok, the three of us need to talk
[21:36] (Euthanasia44) ok, we talk tomorrow
[21:36] (stbdchick) go ahead and tell her my name
Session Close: Thu Dec 14 21:36:25 2000

Session Start: Thu Dec 14 21:36:53 2000


[21:36] Session Ident: Euthanasia44 (IP deleted)
[21:36] (Euthanasia44) I will
Session Close: Thu Dec 14 21:37:04 2000

Session Start: Thu Dec 14 21:37:05 2000


[21:37] Session Ident: Euthanasia44 (IP deleted)
[21:37] (Euthanasia44) but had to ask you first
[21:37] (stbdchick) thanks
Session Close: Thu Dec 14 21:37:17 2000

Session Start: Thu Dec 14 21:37:49 2000


[21:37] Session Ident: Euthanasia44 (IP deleted)
[21:37] (Euthanasia44) not sure if you still want to do this knowing how it will be on your daughter, but think there is a chance
[21:38] (stbdchick) we will talk
[21:38] (stbdchick) later
[21:38] (Euthanasia44) she wants a peaceful death
Session Close: Thu Dec 14 21:38:05 2000

Session Start: Thu Dec 14 21:38:12 2000


[21:38] Session Ident: Euthanasia44 (IP deleted)
[21:38] (Euthanasia44) ok, bye for now
Session Close: Thu Dec 14 21:38:16 2000

Last update: Tuesday, January 02, 2001 23:59


     
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