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Home Sweet Home

I do not belong
feal theres no hope
theres a roof overhead
buts not for real

ive never been home
but i know its there
a tearing within
i cant find the words

my friends might care
my family might feal
but for some reason
its just not real

I hate this fealing
i just dont fit in
no hope healing
cause i dont belong

I try to love
but its not my fate
i try to trust
but learn to hate

i tried living drunk
i tried living high
nothing worked
nothing new to try

i cant find jesus
cant find god
heard they love me
heard they can fill
but no gods among us
never was, never will

I search for a cure
to sooth my pain
cant fill the hole
am i just insane?

will this fealing stay?
life cant begin or end
untill i know
cant backup what i say
dont know much, but
one thing i can defend...
I wanna go home
but i cant find my way


Indifferent Existance

I came into this world
naked wet and hungry
it just got worse
as you can see

Time went on
as it has and would
me?, make a differance?
i cant, nor should

If i wasnt born
the earth would still spin
the family wouldnt be torn
the peaple would still sin

Besides a few peaple
no one would be changed
my effects were feeble
tried to fix the world.

Too much ass
too much bug
without either, id pass
but they're together in a hug


Why I Write

I write my mind
cause i cannot speak
maybe understanding i waana find
maybe a friend i seek?

Its more than words to me
a release of mine
a way for others to see
whats deep inside my mind

The words just flow
my fealings released
for everyone to know
for everyone to feast

Trust i seek
is it within you?
words so clear, i see
do you understand too?

Im just to fragile, cant you tell?
dont use this against me
I hide inside my shell
so you cannot see

These words i write
are my attempt to justify
not to make right
never be, not even when i die


Happy?

All you needs a brain
Itll clench at you
give you tons of pain
thought dont come in lue

   Youll think of why life should end
   living you wouldnt defend
   depressed till the end
   suicide, to be your friend

You want some thought?
wisdom isnt the answer
but ignorance is what i saught
thought is a just horror

You were happy at a time
tried to learn as much as you could
ignorance seemed a crime
become a moron is what you should

   Youll think of why life should end
   living you wouldnt defend
   depressed till the end
   suicide, to be your friend

Only the stupid are happy
obliviouse to everyone
they just cant see
what everyone has done
thought must end...
only that, youll defend...


Dont Understand

Dont wanna grow up
cant last till tmoorow
just cant live up
cant avoid my sorrow

cant take the pain
suicide must start
knife at the vein
wanna rip it apart

failure of life
failure of death
just drop the knife
and take a breath

things will change
they all tell me
my life life, i rearrange
but ive yet to see

no matter the differance
seems no whatter what
happiness has no chance
my wrist i wanna cut

Why cant i do it
it seems so right
fealings of suicide fit
why must i fight?

i cant live
i cant die
suicide so native
but i sit and cry

sitting here, i throw a fit
my wrist i wanna slit
knife at hand, i make a fist
but stop, i dont understand


Goodbye

i have no strenght
hope n wish for death
nothing can sooth
i cannot move

im so depressed
i cant take this
my thoughts, so messed
my life, i wont miss

why am i here?
why like this?
this is severe
i feal like piss

cant get out of bed
things get better dad said
doesnt seem to me
happy? i cant be

my future i cant see
living? i dont wanna be
just cant take the pain
just cant be sain

goodbye to all
as i begin to fall
i wish you luck
as if you gave a fuck


Another

Blood running down my arm
i think of why im here
ive gotten so far
is my end near?

the pain keeps me awake
hurt keeps me insane
happiness i cant fake
its picking at my brain

its so late now
gotta leave for school
anyone to know, i cant aloow
everyone i must try an fool

another razor broken
another scar given
remind me forever
my hurt i cant sever

everynight is the same
i cant stay sain
cant take the pain
but cant end this game

i dont know why
but i cant die
another night of my curse
it seems to get worse

only during the day
pain, i dont portray
but during the night
i beggin the fight

i am so alone
no ones around
emptyness ive found
life, a monotonous tone

-MaTriXxx

Last update: Sunday, February 07, 1999 11:28


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